On the day of her Rising Phoenix Experience, Mikki Schumacher had one message for the world.

I am woman, hear me roar. I can do anything.

It is exactly the kind of thing you would expect from a woman her family describes as a badass, in the best possible sense. Underneath that fire, though, is a quieter question, one she carried for years without ever asking it out loud the way we’re about to say it here: did I mess up my kids?

This isn’t the daily ache of wondering if you’re doing enough right now, in the middle of it. This is the quieter, later fear that shows up once the hardest years are behind you, when there’s finally room to look back and ask the question you never let yourself ask while you were still surviving it.

The Years No One Saw Her Carry Alone

Mikki’s daughter Kolbi was only seven years old when her father passed away. That loss did not happen in isolation. It happened at the start of what would become years of Mikki raising her children without their dad, through elementary school, through the particularly hard teenage years that test every home.

She held her kids together while grieving herself, a task most people cannot imagine attempting even once, let alone for years at a stretch.

Her daughter Kolbi remembers it clearly, even through tears telling the story. “My mom and I had a hard time growing up together, but I would not have wanted anyone else to take care of me.”

The Trip That Made the Decision for Her

Here is something worth naming, because it points to one of the quiet truths behind this work. Most women wrestle with real hesitation before their Rising Phoenix day arrives. A fearful voice often creeps in that says who do you think you are, spending a whole day on yourself.

That voice is common, and it is not a flaw.

It is that part of us that is still trying to stay safe in a season that no longer requires it.

Mikki did not wrestle with that voice, and the reason is worth telling.

In January, Mikki traveled to Thailand on FIORIA’s 9-Day Portrait of Thailand and Adventure Workshop with her dear friend Heidi. Heidi had already had her own Rising Phoenix Experience, and so had another close friend of theirs, Carrie. Over the course of the trip, Mikki heard both of their stories firsthand, and their joy was contagious the entire time. By the end of it, Mikki’s husband Mike turned to her and said, you need to do this when we get home.

But Mike’s reasoning went deeper than a trip full of good stories. He knew Mikki had carried a quiet fear for years, one she rarely said out loud. Did I mess up my kids? Mike encouraged her to fly in from Cincinnati and do the Rising Phoenix Experience so she could finally hear the answer, not from him, but from her own children.

Mikki did not need convincing. She had already watched two women she loves walk through it and come back different.

Their joy became her permission.

Her husband’s blessing became her runway.

The three of them have grown close that they are all going on our 9-Day Portrait of Italy Photography Workshop and Culinary Tour in 2027, proof that the kind of community that carries you into your own becoming often keeps carrying you long after. (my favorite part about our workshops. strangers become lifelong friends)

There is also something worth noticing in a husband who, watching his wife surrounded by her people, turns to her and says go do this for yourself, not for a trip, but so she can finally hear the truth from the people who matter most. That is its own kind of love.

The Question That Answered Her Question

When Mikki first saw her Rising Phoenix portraits during her Cinematic Reveal, she did something almost every one of our clients does at first. She started finding what was wrong.

Brian asked her a question he asks often, especially with our case study participants at the FIORIA Institute. If you met this woman on the street and had no idea who she was, what would you think about her?

Mikki didn’t hesitate. “Badass.”

That single word changed everything.

The portrait she had been quietly critiquing seconds before became her favorite piece from the entire day, the one now displayed largest on her wall, her main statement piece, the truth she sees every single day.

Here is why that question matters so much. Seeing your true self clearly, all at once, is often too much for the brain to accept right away. Describing a stranger is safe. It bypasses the part of the brain that wants to protect you by minimizing, criticizing, or looking away. When Mikki answered as though she were describing someone else, she gave her own brain a small, safe step toward believing something it was not ready to hear directly: this is really you.

This is not a trick. It is neuroscience. And it is one of the quiet reasons the Rising Phoenix Experience works.

The Gap Between Knowing and Living

Here is what makes Mikki’s story so particular. Her brain had known she was a badass for years. Everyone in her life had been telling her some version of it for a decade. Her kids, her father, her friend Heidi, especially her husband, Mike. She could recite it. She could nod along when someone said it out loud.

But knowing something is not the same as living it. There is a gap between what your mind understands about you and what your body is willing to hold as true, and for many women who have spent years surviving, that gap can last a lifetime unless something specifically closes it.

Her Rising Phoenix wall art is now doing that quiet work every day. Each time she walks past it, her brain gets another chance to integrate what her mind has known for years.

This is what visual neuroplasticity does. It closes the gap between knowing and living, slowly and gently, without asking her to force anything.

A Woman Who Gives Before Anyone Asks

One theme runs through every single person who spoke about Mikki for this story. She gives, constantly, often before anyone even asks.

Her father Rob remembers when Mikki completely remodeled his mother’s bathroom by hand, tearing out the ceiling, tiling the walls, redoing the flooring, showing up every single day until it was finished, because his mother was living with Alzheimer’s and needed it done right.

Her husband Mike remembers coming home from a difficult trip to find his entire house transformed. Mikki had found old photo slides of his father he had never seen before and turned the living room into a movie theater in his honor, complete with a poster board announcing the night’s showing: “Life of Mike’s Dad.”

What Her Kids Actually Said

This is the part of the story we most want the mother reading this to sit with. Because if you have ever quietly wondered whether you messed up your kids, the answer is almost never the one your own mind gives you at two in the morning.

During Mikki’s Reading Ritual, while hair and makeup were underway, Brian and I read aloud the words the people who love her most had written about her.

Her son Gavin remembers his mom teaching him what it actually takes to become an adult, patiently walking him through finances and responsibility when he moved out on his own.

Her daughter Ella described her mother’s superpower simply. She is so good at putting a smile on people’s faces, and she has the most beautiful voice, though she would never admit it or sing for anyone on purpose.

And Kolbi, the daughter who was only seven when her father passed away, the one who grew up watching her mother carry more than any one person should have to carry, said this. “My mom and I had a hard time growing up together, but I would not have wanted anyone else to take care of me.”

That is what her kids actually said. Not that she was perfect. Not that it was easy. That they would not have wanted anyone else. (cue tears, the most powerful words of all)

Frequently Asked Questions

Did I mess up my kids if we went through something hard together?

Almost every mother who has parented through loss, illness, divorce, or hardship carries some version of this fear. What Mikki’s story shows is that the children who lived through the hard years often remember something very different than the mother fears they remember. Hearing it directly from them, rather than guessing at it alone, is often the only thing that actually answers the question.

How do I know if I was a good mom, looking back?

You may not be able to answer this fully on your own, and that is not a failure of memory or honesty. It is because the people best positioned to answer it are your own children. The Rising Phoenix Experience includes a beautiful Reading Ritual specifically built around this, gathering the honest words of the people who love you most, so you do not have to answer the hardest questions about yourself alone.

Is Rising Phoenix only for people in the middle of an obvious life transition?

No. Mikki’s story shows that transformation can happen quietly, over years, long before someone consciously names it as becoming. Rising Phoenix serves women at the beginning of a hard season and women who are only now catching their breath after one.

Why does describing yourself as if you were a stranger help you see yourself more clearly?

Seeing your true self directly can feel like too much for the brain to accept all at once, especially after years of self-criticism. Describing a stranger removes that threat. The brain can answer honestly because it does not feel exposed.

How does FIORIA support someone after their Rising Phoenix day ends?

Every Rising Phoenix client receives custom wall art, daily neuroscience-based integration exercises, a mood log, and a full year of guided support as her brain continues to reorganize around the truth of who she has become. The Day Of your experience is powerful, but it’s just the beginning. We walk beside you throughout the year with guidance and exercises to help bring integration to your brain, your soul, your overall state of being and confidence, to have lasting change.

If You’ve Been Carrying This Question Alone

If you have ever lain awake wondering whether you messed up your kids, especially after a season that asked more of you than any parent should have to give, we want you to know something. The answer you are looking for may not live inside your own mind. It may live in the people who lived it alongside you.

Schedule a Free Clarity Call with Brian or me at any time.

We would be honored to help you finally hear it.

With so much love, still we rise.

Me Ra

p.s. Mikki, thank you for trusting us with your becoming, your powerful Rising Phoenix Experience. You have been everyone else’s strength for so long. It is your turn to receive.

Are You Ready to Rise?

Eight out of ten women who come to us are quietly self-conscious about one thing: displaying a portrait of themselves in their own home. Whether it’s in their home office, bedroom, or front entry. They worry it might look vain.

Almost none of them feel vain once it’s there.

You might relate to Dusti’s story, who broke a cycle of generational trauma her family had carried for decades and found a joy she had never known was possible.

Jamie’s story might feel familiar too, a single mom who found grace, patience, and the freedom to dream again, one portrait at a time.

Or perhaps you see yourself in Loyna, who left a marriage marked by decades of abuse and built a new life of resilience for herself and her children.

Christie’s journey might land closest of all, a mother who spent decades believing she wasn’t enough, and finally stopped believing that lie for good.

Your story may not be written yet. You may simply be in a season where you know something wants to rise.

Perfect words aren’t needed. You just have to be willing to take the first small step.

Text “rise” to 469-365-2450, or DM us on Instagram or Facebook. We’ll ask you a few honest questions, and we’ll help you see if your heart is ready.

Like Dusti, Jamie, Loyna, and Christie, you’ll see the truth of who you are reflected back at you every day. It was never about vanity. It’s about finally owning your strength.