Brian and I escaped to our favorite cabin up in the mountains.
We had one night. Our mission was to lock ourselves away, build a fire, spread out poster board, bring twenty different colored markers, get the tea kettle going and map out our vision for the new year. We wrote down all our dreams, goals, “impossibles” to see if they could become possibles, and much more. It was an amazing 24 hours together. We were worried that since we only had time to leave for one night, we wouldn’t get much done. But wow, God totally blessed our time and we feel like we are hitting the ground running.
Before we left, I went for a walk by myself and stumbled across something that took me by surprise. A single seedpod that survived the winter. I saw myself in this seedpod.
If there was ever a self portrait of myself struggling during the last year, this lonely and confused seedpod would be it. It was like my whole world, all my insides, all my reserves, all my creativity and enthusiasm for work, life, family was empty but I kept hanging on, trying to tell myself it wasn’t that cold outside, my tree of life wasn’t barren, I wasn’t hanging by a thread at all. And yet, a thread is all I was hanging by. That morning I read the following passage and felt as if I was looking in the mirror as every word reflected my being.
An artist must have downtime, time to do nothing. Defending our right to such time takes courage, conviction, and resiliency. Such time, space, and quiet will strike our family and friends as withdrawal from them. It is.
For an artist, withdrawal is necessary. Without it, the artist in us feels vexed, angry, out of sort. If such deprivation continues, our artist becomes sullen, depressed, hostile. We eventually became like cornered animals, snarling at our family and friends to leave us alone and stop making unreasonable demands.
We are the ones making unreasonable demands. We expect our artist to be able to function without giving it what it needs to do so. An artist requires the upkeep of solitude. An artist requires the healing of time alone.
-Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way
Does anyone else relate? Any other seedpods out there? 🙂
December was an amazing month of taking time to do nothing, and I can’t believe how much courage this took. I don’t know if the courage required is due to owning your own business, or being a woman/wife/mom and feeling the needs of those you love, or just being an artist and struggling with the right to withdrawal. But withdraw I did, and it has made all the difference.
xo
m
You hit it on the nose, the frozen nose! With the rush of the coming season, the “reminder emails”, the cleaning up of newsletter, the gifts, and the craziness… who has time for tea and rest and brainstorming? Having two small business owners under one roof simply adds to the hanging pod effect (is that like a hanging chad?). Sometimes the days consist of “good morning” and “good night” with a little grunt in the mid afternoon. Maybe it is time that we all stopped to smell the snow?!?
Cheers,
Agnes
Plum Tree Studio
http://www.plumtreestudio.com/blog-topic/wedding
I would like to nominate Julie P. from http://www.jp-photography.net ! She is amazing. Read her recent blog and you will know why she is deserving of this gift. She is truly SUPERWOMAN. She has her business, staff, her kids and grandson to take care of. She is off having surgery this week, but none the less she still will be working eventhough she says that she is not going to! She never stops. I meet Julie about 8 yrs ago and we lost touch then one day last year her name came up at work because she does photography work for the organization now i lay me down to sleep. I work in Labor and Delivery and we have used her services more than once. She just is a genuine person/photographer that could use this gift of learning to take time out for herself! Please consider Julie, you won’t be disappointed:)
I couldn’t have read this at a more appropriate time. It has been one of those emotional rollercoaster days. Finally just broke down and let it all out. So much for trying to hold it all together. I have two young boys at home and two on the way (any day now). I have been feeling so distant from my two at home. My head is somewhere else and I have felt like a not so great parent and mother. At times I feel like I will never get back to that place of calm and wonder if I am in over my head. I still don’t know. 2009 is supposed to be the start of many great things…2 more beautiful babies, new photography business, etc. I am hoping and praying I can manage it all and not let myself and my family down. Mera I know how important it is to regroup and find that “place” within you that brings you all the wonderful things…inspiration, calm, reflection, hope, etc…thank you for sharing. It is always a comfort to know that we are not alone in our feelings. Good luck and I so look forward to what’s in store for 2009.
We live in Spokane, WA (so I’m sure you know what kind of a snowy, crazy winter break we’ve had). We had made plans to “rest” in sunny california over christmas break but were snowbound with all the airline trouble.
The kids were supposed to go back to school today… but school was cancelled due to another winter storm.
I just declined an appointment for tomorrow that I “SHOULD” have said yes to but am choosing to reserve that time to exercise (which I’ve missed tremendously over our snowbound winter break).
I was sitting here feeling slightly guilty for declining this “brainstorming meeting” but know I needed to do this for myself. Your post resonates deeply with me and the timing couldn’t be better.
Thanks Mera. Prayers of blessing and prosperity for you!
I would like to nominate my Mom, Robin. Decemeber 30th marked the 2 year anniversary of my Dad’s death. They were sweethearts from the age of 14 until he was tragically taken from us (he was 50 and she was only 45). Learning to live without him and just continue to function on a semi-normal level has been so hard on her. She is an amazing woman and I constantly marvel at how she is able to keep on the way she has.
My youngest brother is still at home (age 15). She and my Dad felt a strong desire to homeschool him from the very beginning and she felt the need to continue on in that even with Dad being gone. She definitely has her hands full!
I believe that saying she is “running on empty” is a statement that describes her to the T. I love her so much and just wish that there was something I could do to ease her burden some.
She is a beginner when it comes to photography, but she has always been an artist. She keeps talking about her desire to learn more than just point and shoot. She enjoys photography so much, but feels discouraged that she doesn’t understand the basics. I just told her about your seminar in Atlanta. She was so tempted to go, but the cost of the seminar combined with the travel costs was just too much for her.
I know that this would be a refreshing time for her, plus she loves meeting new people. It would be such a nice distraction and everyone needs that from time to time!
I’m nominating my sister in law, Carrie Faircloth. She is the wife of an attorney (my brother) who has started seminary at night and will soon go full time. She’s mother to 4 beautiful kids, ages 9 to 12 months. She is a homeschooler, Sunday School teacher, charity leaguer, wife, mom, sister, daughter, SIL, DIL…the list is endless. She does it with grace and a wonderful spirit. She is facing getting a house sold and packed in order to move to Lexington, KY for her husband to attend seminary full time plus the day to day needs of a family of 6. Although it gets busy and demanding, she wouldn’t change a thing.
She can say it better than I can, so below is a part of one of her recent blog posts. I feel safe in sharing it as her blog is public – and it reminds me of your post today about recharging:
I used to paint. I’ve never really been any good at it, my sister got all of the artsy genes, but before kids I always enjoyed painting and crafts. There’s something very relaxing about tuning out everything and just creating.
As hard as I am trying to rely on God and be patient, this whole house selling process has me stressed. It’s funny that when God gives you what you ask for it’s still hard to give up control. [end of blog post]
Carrie would never ask for anything for herself, and their budget does not extend to a workshop just now. A weekend focused on something Carrie enjoys would help fuel her creative energies and she could return to her family and friends ready to enter the next phase that God has in store for a family headed to seminary.
So thanks for considering her, and I look forward to seeing who joins you in Atlanta.
I would like to nominate a woman I have never met, but feel like I have known forever, Maya Henderson: http://www.springtreeroad.com/ We actually met online, a crossing of paths in the blogosphere, and a common interest, photography. We were both at the same place in our photography pursuits (brand spanking new!) and instantly connected, excited to share things as we discovered them ourselves, to encourage each other, to bounce ideas and inquiries and inspiration to each other. We both have daughters the same age, another connection, and she is from the same state as my husband, which makes me believe one day we will meet. I had the amazing opportunity to attend Me Ra Koh’s beginning photography workshop for women when I first became interested in photography, and introduced Maya to Me Ra’s site, videos and 101 kits. Maya has commented regularly on Me Ra’s blog posts ever since, purchased the kits, and has been dreaming about the day when Me Ra comes to her area for a workshop. Me Ra is now coming to Atlanta, and Maya just recently moved back to the greater Atlanta area… perfect timing… except for one big problem.. the move is because Maya’s husband lost his job right before the holidays. I mentioned the workshop, and Maya humbly mentioned it wasn’t going to happen, money was tight. When I read Me Ra’s post today I immediately thought of Maya and what an awesome candidate she’d be for this contest! This blog post stirred me –
http://www.springtreeroad.com/springtreeroad/2008/12/she-dont-ever-worry-bout-whats-gone.html
it is when they first settled into a temporary house their family is letting them stay in while they job hunt – the grace that maya is exuding under difficult, uncertain times was beautiful, captured in photos, and her writing… singing beautifully down the highway to her baby girl while faced with enormous stress and fears, that says a lot about this mama!
i sincerely hope you consider Maya for this amazing opportunity. I know she is a huge fan of Me Ra’s and I think this is a time in her life that she needs reinforcement, refueling… after attending Me Ra’s workshop and knowing firsthand what a “WOW” time that is to bond with other women (and Bryan =)… and it extends beyond the photography… perfect! Please consider Maya! XO Camille Wilson
These are wonderful nominations! don’t forget to leave your name hyperlinked or your email so we can contact you if your nomination is chosen. Much love!
I would like to nominate Valerie Ott (ott.valerie@gmail.com). Valerie has been a dear friend of mine for over 15 years and I have watched as she has grown into an amazing woman. She has had to struggle for everything she has (which includes a happy marriage, a darling son, and a master’s degree). She was never given much by way of family help but she has always just pulled herself up by her boot straps and trudged on. She has exhibited a lot of courage in her personal life, and she is now using her courage and creativity to start her own photography business. She is so talented; her flare and vision make her photos interesting and beautiful. She is always willing to give a friend (or a friend of a friend) her time and ideas. She is passionate about photography and no one deserves a break more than she does, I guarantee you. Thanks for considering this fabulous and talented woman!
I’d like to nominate Valerie Ott, the chief genius and sole employee of Valerie Ott Photography. She is a good friend of mine, and although I often give her a fair amount of grief, I have nothing but the utmost respect for her photography work. I am continually impressed by her ability to capture a story in each photograph. One of my favorite pictures is of her young son. It is a close-up, and in his young eyes, you can feel the curiosity, innocence, and anticipation as he begins his journey to become a young man. I can’t think of anyone more deserving of this chance, or with more raw talent to fully utilize it.
Me Ra – what a wonderful post. It certainly got me thinking about myself as well. BTW Kelli- we are practically neighbors- let me know if I can help with ANYTHING. I can certainly give you one my shoulders to lean on for a good cry!
Me Ra,
I have been following your blog for some time now. I have been following because I love your work but more importantly for your inspiration. You have such an eloquant style and such a way with words. I know that if I ever need a pick me up, your words are bound to provide inspiration. More importantly, it is not that false sense of self but rather a raw, true and real depiction of how you are feeling. This takes courage and strength. So often people write what they think others want to hear. But, you write from the heart and are not afraid to express when you are fearful or just plain tired. It is comforting to know that there are others out there that feel the same way. So often as mothers and business owners, we think we can do it all. I have come to realize that I am no superhero, even though my children view me that way sometimes. I am only me and I too need time for myself without feeling selfish or unworthy. When you write these posts, it gives us all permission not to feel bad about wanting that too. Thank you for your honesty and candidness. I know there are many of us out there that appreciate, it including me!
Melanie Moreno
Melanie, Thank you for your kind post. I cherish all your thoughts and words. And I can’t express how much it meant to read. Hope to see your name and comments more in the future. xoxo
Hi Me Ra,
I feel really selfish doing this, but I’d like to nominate myself for your workshop. I’ve been reading your blog for several months, and I truly admire your bravery. This is a trait I feel lacking in my own life. I fear failure and therefore have never really followed through on my many dreams. I would love to attend your workshop, though I see you have many nominees who are very deserving. My husband works in the airline industry and has had to spend the past month away for retraining over the holidays, which will ultimately lead to yet another big pay cut. I’m homeschooling our three children and I am definitely running on empty. Thank you for considering me, and for being such an inspiration! Tammy
I would like to nominate my friend, Kelly. Is she running on empty more than any other of the remarkable nominees? Perhaps not, but I can tell you that she very much deserves a break and Atlanta is only a hop, skip, and a jump away for her. Kelly is so giving of herself in so many ways. She is a stay at home mom of two precious little girls. She also cares for several of the neighborhood children when their mommies get in a bind and need a little help. She took in her sister when she needed a place to stay. She keeps a wonderful home for her husband. And she is an amazing friend. She has been with me through so much and I am so blessed to have her in my life. We have each started our own photography businesses this past year and I am truly enjoying watching her grow. She selflessly nominated me for the Chicago Running on Empty and I wondered how I would ever repay her for the most amazing weekend experience. Perhaps she will be chosen for the Atlanta Running on Empty (and maybe I can tag along for the first half of day one I missed due to the pesky airline :)) and I can somehow repay her for the gift she made possible for me. Kelly is always there with a gentle smile and just the right words that keep me and others around her going. So, is Kelly running on empty? You would never know it if she is, but I don’t know how she wouldn’t be. Thank you for your consideration of Kelly as Atlanta’s Running on Empty winner.
i could cry right now. I have never heard those words from Julia Cameron. Were you reading my mind? Those are my exact thoughts about myself. I constantly feel suffocated by things that are common to most people. I need downtime. Constant scheduling and “have to’s” cause me GREAT stress. It makes me feel bad that they do cause me stress when it seems that everyone else is just getting along fine with it. I needed to hear that today. I will not be the same after hearing that! Thank you!
I want to nominate my wife, Christy Martin, for the “Running on Empty” workshop in Atlanta. She is an amazing photographer (www.ChristyMartinPhotography.com), but she is even a more amazing person.
Christy is one of the most loving, caring and giving people you will find. She is truly “running on empty.” She has done so much and continues to do so much for me, our two children, family, friends, and others.
We just moved to Georgia last month from Phoenix, AZ. We drove here from Arizona with our two children and our dog. She took care of them and did her very best to keep them happy and keep the dog from bothering them during the exhausting thirty hour road trip.
She is an amazing mama to our three year old son and fifteen month old daughter. She strives to make each day fun and exciting for them.
During the past year in Arizona, my job was awful. She was a constant ray of light and the best support and gave encouragement to me each day during that time.
In addition to always being there for our family, she is constantly there for other family and friends. She is one of the most selfless people you will find. She will never say “no” to anyone for anything. She is always helping people or staying up late after an exhausting day to do something for someone. She has even helped at least three other people start their own photography business. Furthermore, she is actively involved in Now I Lay ME Down To Sleep.
I truly wish we had the extra money where I could give this to my wonderful wife. She would be so excited and appreciative, although she would think of people she could give this to. I would have to convince her to do this for herself for once.
Her information: Christy Martin
http://www.christymartinphotography.com/blog
c_martin01@hotmail.com
770-639-0598
Hey Me Ra,
Where is the cabin? It is beautiful. I am always looking for a great get away for Randy & I.
Beautiful post today!
Thanks,
Mera!
I will be at WPPI, and would LOVE to help at the product table! Please count me in!!!!
danamfallentine@gmail.com
Me Ra,
Julia Cameron’s words ring so true in my heart right now. I have felt like running away for the past month…and by her words that is normal? I feel like I give, give, and give, yet I am so empty inside…there’s nothing left over for me. I am a stay-at-home mommy trying to start a photography business while my husband finishes his degree. I feel like I fail my husband and my daughter because I can’t seem to do anything right. I don’t have a single client lined up for 2009, my daughter just clings to me through out the day so that when my husband comes home from classes or a job I have accomplished little to nothing around the house, and I feel like a child being repremanded. God has blessed me with a beautiful family, yet I feel like I can’t appreciate them because I have nothing left to give. My creativity is at an all time low and I feel selfish for feeling the way I do, not being able to care for my family like I ought to. I truly have felt like the animal Cameron describes, withdrawn with a hurting heart, at times snapping at my husband who doesn’t understand over the most mundane things. My heart feels so lonely and empty, yet I am surrounded by those that love me…how can this be?
I ask that this entry be considered for the “Running on Empty” contest…I don’t think I could be closer to the definition of those words right now. I live 2 hours from Atlanta and I would love to spend time with other moms, Brian, and yourself to recharge my batteries and fill my tank back up. Thank you for the opportunity to nominate myself, and the encouragement to do so…so often as a mom and wife I find that I am always the last one to recieve…and it’s good to have permission to allow myself to be a potential recipient. Thank you again, Jennifer
I would like to nominate my daughter, Valerie Ott. She takes beautiful pictures that always make me smile. She never knew her grandfather, but he took beautiful pictures too. Maybe that is where she gets her “good eye” from.
You should choose her because she’s worth it.
This is for my sister, Valerie Ott. Ever since she was young I have always encouraged and supported her creativity. This class will help her improve her photography skills. She really wants to be a good photographer.
Hi, my name is Myssie and I would like to nominate myself for the running on empty contest. I really can’t believe that I am doing this but here it goes…
I am a stay at home Mom to my two amazing children. My youngest was born with a rare genetic disorder called Rubinstein Taybi Syndrome (RTS). He was diagnosed when he was nine days old. Since that day, August 26, 2006, my life has been a complete rollercoaster ride. I have struggled with the emotions of losing our “normal” lives and have embarked on a journey of a “new normal”. My son has gone through more in his two years than most have in a lifetime. He has had numerous surgeries and hospital stays. There have been more doctor appointments and therapy sessions than I can even count. I have grieved the loss of a typical child and the typical dreams for him that all mothers have for their babies. Some days it is hard to see through all of the therapy, feeding tubes, vomit, reflux, delays and medications but the smile on my little man’s face keeps me going.
I would love to attend your workshop because I love photography and have the desire to make it a career but struggle with confidence. I love capturing my children’s lives and seeing what I can do with my camera. I would enjoy meeting other women who share the same love.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
I would like to offer my recommendation for this award/gift for my wife, Valerie Ott. Valerie (aka my “buddy”) is my wife, my best friend, and more importantly a mom in every definition of the word. Valerie gives of herself physically and spiritually every day. She has never ending patience with our two year old son and all the joys and trials infants can bring. In addition, she puts up with me and my times of impatience, demanding job, and pursuit of an advanced degree. All of these taxes on my wife are managed with a positive attitude and her maintaining a full time job.
Now that I have explained to you who and what my wife does, I have only scratched the surface for my buddy. Valerie has always been an artistic person who enjoys things with style and the story behind the art. Photography is something Valerie sparked less than two years ago. I think she was inspired by the birth of our son and our marriage(I hope). However, as our son as grown and his needs increased photography has given her a release of time and expression. Our sons medical needs have been above average and my buddy’s passion for pictures and capturing moments/stories have allowed her a form of release.
As her husband it has been enjoyable to watch Valerie learn and feel for taking pictures. A weekend away to learn more about a passion she has and do for herself is well deserved. A happy smile comes to me knowing that my wife, with this opportunity can make time for herself.
I would like to nominate my best friend and wife, Sandra. Like so many of us, she set aside her life passion (art and design) many years ago to pursue ‘a living’. Over three continents, numerous jobs and degrees, and a wonderful son, she has finally found both the patience and focus to once again recapture her Dharma (purpose in life) – in the form of photography.
Sandra is a ‘giver’ in every sense of the word. Last year, she realized that her energy was finite – that her focus on others at the expense of herself was depleting herself and her loved ones of the positive energy that had characterized her life up to that point. After some soul-searching, she came to understand the power of inner alignment – blending her creative talent with service to others. She bought a second hand camera, learned software photo imaging tools, and just recently started working as a volunteer to photographically capture events and conferences for non-profits. It must be working as she is already combing through Craigslist for another lens.
Sandra has been a follower of your work for some time, and would be thrilled beyond belief to attend such a workshop as yours. I appreciate your generosity in doing this – and giving us the opportunity to help your fans (and our loved ones) realize their dreams.
This posting is inspiring. It brought to mind a friend of mine, Angie Kniery, whom I would like to nominate for the Running on Empty contest. Angie is currently a stay at home mom with a passion for photography. Angie is a fan or yours and regularly reads your blog. In the last few years, she has steadily been increasing her photography skills.
Angie takes photos of her family, including school photos for her daughter’s preschool and her sons’ elementary school. She has helped numerous people get the “always challenging Christmas photo” for Christmas cards and volunteers to take soccer team photos. She is always there with her camera catching that special shot. She has provided me with some of the best photos of my children that I have and she never hesitates to help when you have a photography question.
The reason that Angie came to mind when I read about this contest is that she is currently “running on empty.” Angie has three children, two boys, Sam(10) and Joe (8), and a 4 year old daughter, Bridget. All her children are active and healthy. Her son, Joe, has Down Syndrome and Angie works very hard to make sure he is active in basketball, baseball, and horseback riding. She also drives him once a week to therapy, which is over an hour away. Angie has submitted photos of Joe that have been used in the Buddy Walk in New York. Her photos of Joe capture his spirit in such a way that you don’t see his disability. Angie has a gift with her camera and she would revel in the opportunity to develop this gift.
Having three children is always a challenge, but the past month has been especially hard. After Christmas, Angie has been raising her children by herself, as her husband is on a medical mission trip in Kenya, Africa. He will be returning this upcoming Monday and Angie will certainly be more than ready for a break. In Angie’s support of the ones she loves, she has about “run out of gas” herself. Angie needs this weekend in Atlanta to stir her soul, inspire her creative side and give her a much needed boost. Who knows, it may even inspire her to find a career in photography some day!
If Angie is awarded this opportunity it will be an event that she will always remember and may even lead her life in a new direction. Thank you for offering this opportunity to the people who love your work and who love photography.
Her contact information is
angelakniery .
This is a followup to the prior posting for Angie. Her e-mail contact is angelakniery@insightbb.com.
I would like to nominate my wife, Kelly, for your running on empty contest. I do so knowing that I am one of the primary reasons she is nearing empty. Over the course of our 9.5 year marriage, we have moved 8 times between three states so that I could pursue new professional opportunities. Over that time frame, Kelly has selflessly supported me even though it was not necessarily ideal for her. The past eighteen months have been particularly trying as we have experienced emotions that span the entire spectrum. In this time frame we moved twice, welcomed the birth of our second son, and suffered through the death of our dog who had been with us for 12 years and was a full member of our family. Taken individually, these are all things that might not seem particularly difficult. But taken together they are enough to push anyone to exhaustion. Our newborn suffered extreme colic. So in the midst of trying to settle into a new home, Kelly pushed herself to the edge trying to comfort and diagnose the baby’s problems. At the same time she worked tirelessly to make the transition as seamless as possible for our older son who had just left all with which he was familiar. Soon after, we lost one of the few constants in our life of change when our family dog passed away. Suddenly, Kelly found herself struggling to explain “Doggie Heaven” to a three year old. Through all of this, Kelly has had little chance to do anything for herself. She has recently discovered photography and I see this as a real opportunity for her to reconnect with her artistic talents that have been dormant since high school. She has a strong desire to pursue this as more than a hobby, but her inexperience often leaves her frustrated. She truly deserves this opportunity to “fill up” emotionally as she simultaneously builds confidence in her abilities as a photographer.
Dear Me Ra,
A seedpod – what a powerful image. It didn’t resonate right away. It took a little while to sink in. I too feel like my seedpod has been withdrawn, withering, and dormant for too long. Lately it seems like I get that little taste of spring and then the frost hits again. But the inspiring part of that lonely seedpod hanging on by a thread is that it has to let go and fall in order to bloom. I look forward to seeing what artistry comes through you this spring.
I truly admire your ability to withdrawl and do nothing in order to recharge yourself. I admire your raw openness in the writing on your blog. I am also one who cannot say “no”. I put on a smile despite what it going on in my head. I push and push to do everything for everyone, yet feel guilty when I take a moment for myself.
I don’t photography professionally. I’d say have a little more of a clue than most people. I just happen to stumble upon a few good photos in the hundreds I take. In those few photos, people say I should I should take a shot at photography. But right now I’m just a woman who just got a camera. A mom who feels like she barely has enough time to devote to her family, let alone her photography passion. A woman running on empty.
I can only be grateful that my life has not been touched by extraordinary tragedy. I don’t have a support group to second and third my nomination. All I could do is pass on your blog link the few supportive people in my life (since no one shares my passion for photography) and hope. Now in the final hours before the deadline, it actually feels really strange to be writing this about myself.
I would love to join you and the other women to nurture, to inspire, to heal in Atlanta.
Thank You for being such an inspiration!
Stephanie
I would like to nominate my wonderful wife for the “running on empty” contest. It would be a dream come true for her to receive this gift and attend a workshop with other women who are pursuing the same photography dreams!
Laura was inspired with a new passion for photography when our daughter was born in 2007. She takes thousands of pictures of our little girl and captures all the memories that could otherwise be so easily forgotten. Every night before going to sleep, she lays in bed studying photography books and dreaming of the possibility of owning a photography business. She quizzes every photographer she meets in hopes of learning new photography tips! In the past few months, people have been noticing her gift of photography and asking if they can hire her for her services. Very exciting!
Laura has been a worship leader for the past 10 years. She constantly gives of herself and uses the artistic gifts God has blessed her with to touch people’s hearts and draw them closer to Him. While this is very fulfilling, it is also very draining and I can see that her artistic side is running on empty. Lately she seems burned out and running so low that she will question whether she is truly called to lead worship and/or start this photography business. It’s at this point that I know an intervention is needed, and this workshop would be the catalyst to jump start her artistic engine once again.
My wife is an amazing mother to our daughter, the best wife I could ask for, a gifted worship leader, and an aspiring photographer. She gives and gives of herself to others, and I would be thrilled to see her be blessed in return. She is very optimistic and always thankful for what God has given us as a family and might not admit that she’s running on empty, but as her husband, I know that the artist in her is weary. As a pastor, I could not typically afford to send my wife away to something of this nature, but I would be very honored if you chose my wife to attend your workshop in Atlanta. Thank you.
We would like to nominate Valerie Ott for this wonderful opportunity. She is not only a wonderful friend, neighbor, and mother; she has taken some priceless pictures of our son which capture the moment (and his personality) perfectly. She manages to capture those moments and even from a formal photo shoot her portraits never turn out looking posed but always natural and full of emotion. We believe this opportunity would be all that she needs to make her raw talent blossom into her full potential and achieve her dreams.
Hi Me Ra,
First I would like to say what an amazing gift you give!!! YOURSELF!!! You give so much to so many, & I have to say I LOVE to hear that you take time for yourself!!! Second, I am swallowing my pride, & taking the risk of sounding selfish, or pompous. I would like to nominate myself for the running on empty contest. I am a stay at home Mom to two, a 5 year old son, & a 3 year old daughter. Although I never imagined all the sacrifices I would have to make as a stay at home Mom, I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!! My husband & I celebrated (well not really) our 7 year wedding anniversary on New Years Eve. In the first 5 years of our marriage, we moved 9 times, & covered 5 states, the last of which was a year & a half ago to Alabama. As you can imagine, we were a military family. For years I have dreamed of having my own photography business, even before we got married, but being a military spouse taught me quickly that life was no longer about my own desires or dreams. Since my husband got out of the military almost 2 years ago, I have tried to put all my ducks in a row, & make my dream come true. Since we moved to an area that we didn’t know anyone, it was hard to know the right steps to take, & since I am in an area FULL of the “old school” mentality of you don’t share ANYTHING I have found it very difficult to learn what to do, & what not to do. As a prior master stylist, I know how important “word of mouth marketing” is…it takes 10 good comments to overtake 1 bad, & I have been TERRIFIED of making mistakes!!! As my son started playing sports, I finally found myself meeting fun families to be around, & got lots of practice shooting the kids playing T-Ball & Flag Football, which I had a BLAST doing. I felt confident in my abilities, & ready to “go.” Then the blow came. One of the families asked me to shoot their boys together for their Christmas card pictures. I was so excited for the day to come. I went & found a really fun quiet place to photograph the boys, where I knew we would have the whole place to ourselves, I planned out different spots, I was really prepared mentally. I arrived that morning, of course a bundle of nerves, but ready to face my challenges…I knew that trying to capture great pictures of two little boys the way that Mom wanted was going to be a slight challenge, but one of my worries was that one of the boys wears glasses, so I knew it would be a little difficult, since I didn’t have much experience photographing anyone who wears glasses before, but again, I was ready, I was focused. Then I found out that one of the boys wasn’t feeling well…oh no, I PRAYED that all would go well, & he would have a good time, & I would still be able to capture his true personality. I lost my focus on the glasses trying to keep the younger “sick” one in good spirits, which wasn’t too difficult, I felt that things went fairly well, I thought I got some really good pictures in all three of the outfits that Mom brought. Until I got home & downloaded all the pictures to my computer, & saw the glare in his glasses in MOST of the pictures I had taken….UUUGGGHHH!!!! I cried, there was nothing I could do at that point….I never noticed it when I checked the back of the camera…..I BLEW IT!!!! I thought I had scored a really good contact, a Mom, busy with working part time in a children’s boutique, a Sunday School teacher….well established in the community, & I BLEW IT!!!! Ever since, I have been fighting with myself…trying desperately to find the courage to get back out there, & value the many lessons I learned from that one session. I am having such a hard time with that. Those evil voices in my head telling me to just stick to my own children are beating me down. I would love the opportunity to learn from you, & pray that I get the chance to hear your amazing words of encouragement that I hear so much about be spoken to me. I really am not sure of any other way to really find the confidence that I need to try this again…..PLEASE HELP!!!! I REALLY DON’T WANT TO LET THIS DREAM GO……
Much Love, Many Blessings, & TONS of Laughs,
😉 Shannon
I feel so nervous and uncomfortable doing this, but I am going to go out on a limb and nominate myself for the Running on Empty contest. My story is probably not so different from many women and mothers out there. All of the women nominated here sound like they are absolutely “Running on Empty” as well. But, I thought I’d submit it anyway. I apologize if it is a bit long…
Several years ago, after the passing of my grandparents within a few days of one another, a dear friend told me that this difficult time was only a season in my life. I really clung to those words at that time. But, know I have to say that if that is true, than this is one LOOONG season.
This all began in 2003. I was happily married, had a perfect 11-month old baby boy, we bought a condo. All was well.
Then, I fell down the stairs and hit my head, and was sent for a cat scan. We were shocked when the news came back. No concussion from the fall, but they did find that I had a spinal cord tumor. We saw a specialist who told me it was most likely malignant. I thought I had about 18 months to live. You can imaging the thoughts that ran through my head about what the next year would look like for me and my family.
One evening while I was cooking to keep myself distracted from what was going on, the right side of my face and neck went numb. We rushed to the emergency room and by the time we arrived, my chest, stomach and tops of my legs were numb as well. A couple of days later I had surgery and thanks to a brilliant surgeon and the grace of God my tumor was removed and was found to be benign. I would live to see my son grow up!
Recovery was hard. To remove the tumor my neck bones were removed and then replaced and that is not an easy thing to bounce back from. I was unable to lift my son for 2 months. That is not an easy thing to explain to an 11 month old!
Fast forward 4 weeks to my son’s first birthday. He got extremely sick and was diagnosed with neutropenia, a condition that results in an inability of your body to fight infection. We were sent to the pediatric oncologist to rule out cancer as a cause. I couldn’t believe that just a month prior I thought I was the one with cancer and now this? I was absolutely frantic. Several days later, we were so relieved to find that the condition was benign and that he would grow out of it in a few years.
During all of this, I was not able to work and my husband was laid off from his job and then strangely, rehired. Once again, we were pushed to the brink of disaster and pulled back again.
About 6 months later, after a bout of rotavirus, my son, who was by then, 18 months had four seizures. He did well on medication for over a year and then two weeks after his little brother was born, wound up in the hospital for week and was then officially diagnosed with Epilepsy. Meanwhile, I had a two week old baby at home that I had hardly seen.
We moved shortly thereafter into a house we thought was perfect for us, only to have it flood five times in the year we lived there.
At this point, I was really feeling the pressure of constantly facing these major obstacles and was so down. Then, quite accidentally and miraculously, I found photography. An energy and excitement I had not felt in years began to stir in me. Much to my surprise others began to inquire about my photos. I started to feel a little bit of confidence grow and was feeling great about the future.
Soon after, during a routine spinal cord tumor check, the doctor asked me if I had been experiencing headaches. My stomach lurched and I said a terrified, “Yes”. I thought the headaches had been from all of the drama we had been through the last few years. It turned out that I have yet a new neurological condition called a Chiari Malformation. There are many terrible symptoms that accompany this condition, but in the most ironic turn yet, I have found that my most significant symptom is that my eyesight is affected. Which, for someone who wants to pursue photography, is not the best news. I just pray that the symptoms I am facing now will not progress.
As I read back through this, I have to laugh to keep from tearing up. It almost seems unbelievable that all of this has happened in addition to normally stressful illnesses, deaths of grandparents, a family member with cancer, surgeries, car repairs, appliances breaking, moving AGAIN, etc…
Before Christmas, I made up my mind to change my focus. I vowed to be positive and look for the good instead of fearing the worst. This was my New Year’s Resolution. We came back from visiting family to find that the store where I work part-time is closing and so I am out of a job. So much for my resolution!!
My husband and I have gotten so used to this continual stream of drama, that we have jokingly begun to refer to it as the “cosmic smackdown” that we get whenever we seem to be on an upward turn.
Please know that when I see my kids run and play, or sing a song, or sleep peacefully in their beds at night, or share a joke with my husband, I know I am blessed in ways too numerous to count. Five years ago this spring, I thought I would not live long enough to see my son go off to kindergarten for the first time. And here I am now, waiting for his school bus to arrive and using my hands to type this and listening to my other son chat about dinosaurs. And I am well aware of God’s hand keeping us from complete disaster time and time again.
But, sadly I feel as though I have begun to live in a constant state of fear…always waiting for the “other shoe to drop” as they say. The happy go lucky side of me is non-existent these days and I have such trouble accepting good things as they are and without fear.
Being able to do something for myself alone, be surrounded by a supportive group of women, and to immerse myself in photography for a weekend would be a dream come true.
Thanks so much for continuing to inspire all of us and for holding this wonderful contest! Whoever wins the opportunity to attend your workshop will no doubt be blessed by it!!
I’d like to nominate Lora Ayers (laphoto@me.com – loraayersphoto.com) for the ‘Running on Empty’ seat in the Atlanta workshop. She exemplifies everything you’d be looking for in a candidate: a passion for photography, a longing to learn/grow, someone who has overcome great adversity to achieve a measure of personal success, and most importantly – she needs a break. Here’s the story:
We recently celebrated 10 years, but’s the marriage hasn’t all been ‘blissful’… like the collision of two careening cars, our lives intersected in a flurry of new hopes and compromised dreams. We subsequently moved nine times in that many years – in the meantime, she gave me 3 wonderful children who are now 6, 4, and 1 year old. Lora worked multiple jobs for the first couple years before becoming a stay-at-home mom. She has always put the needs of the family above her own, ever-trying to acheive ‘Super-mom’ status, and has volunteered any spare time to many local church and youth organizations.
I am a self-diagnosed work-a-holic… My job is on-call and a 80-100 hour week is not totally uncommon. I have been gone for weeks at a time, leaving her to deal with all the stresses of three kids and mother/father duties. In over 6 years, she has never spent a night away from the family.
Last June, Lora discovered her life calling in photography. For months she self-taught in whatever time she could scratch out of a day and every time I saw her, she was learning something new via the Internet or begging me for a book (we don’t have lots of spare change around the house). I’ve never known her to be this passionate about anything (besides God, me, and the kids, of course!) and she has drawn tremendous inspiration from you and your materials. She has been ‘running on fumes’ since the birth of our newest child, but I know this workshop would be a confidence builder, encouragement, and is the thing she needs to give her the BREAK (meaning both opportunity and fun) that she desperately needs.
Be Blessed,
Aaron Ayers
I would like to nominate myself for this very generous running on empty contest. I first picked up a dslr in July. I never dreamed that I would be doing family photo sessions within months after that. I literally dove right in to the world of photography. The new found passion has been extremely exciting and scary at the same time. In my head I kinda believe that I could actually be a great photographer, but in my heart I’m terrified of failing and haven’t completely let go. I admire you MeRa for sharing your past and how you deal with things coming up over and over again, and I relate so much. I also have been on a long journey of healing from my past. Thanks to photography I’ve started to become proud of myself for the first time in a while. I have 3 children and I have been blessed to be able to stay home with them, but it has not been easy balancing this new passion and desire to learn with mommyhood. 🙂 All while my husband has been required to work long hours and travel, and has been under increased stress. I would absolutely savor every single moment at your workshop and would so appreciate the opportunity to go and learn and be encouraged. It would mean so much to me, and it would be the perfect start to a new year and a new me….finally letting go!
It’s hard to find the right words when you want someone to have something so badly. I would love for my beautiful cousin and friend Megan Foster to have that special coveted spot at your Atlanta workshop. I just left Atlanta, visited family for the holidays, and while I was there we talked about your workshop…how could she make it happen? She lives so close to where it will be held, yet finances make it impossible right now.
There are so many worthy women, so many stories of difficulties and for each of the women I know that your workshop would be a blessing. But I know my cousin. She is such a strong woman. She has a loving man, 2 beautiful daughters and a sister who is her best friend who has been living with them the past 6 months. Sounds ideal right?
Well, as many of us know, no matter what our outside world looks like, internally there is something missing. She and I are cut from the same cloth. We both share the same voices of doubt, fears of failure, feeling like we’ll never know what makes us truly special in this world. That all changed for me when I went to your workshop. I had no idea. I was just going to have fun, to learn a little something new and just have some time to myself for the first time in my adult life. I had no idea how my life would change. I still have trouble expressing it. The thing is, Megan and I are so alike. We became very close as our children were born, each within months of each other. We had the fortune of living near each other, which is rare when you move so frequently in the military. We have bonded over how to be different. And that’s what makes Megan so very special. Not only does she have the creative eye that all the women in our family were blessed with, she has a rare tenacious spirit. She is a wild stallion in a sea of mares. She is the voice of opposition and isn’t afraid to stand her ground. We both have fought so hard to be a “different” generation for our girls. To show that love can get you through and that know matter what, family is family. Many times we have stood alone- but together.
She is searching, she has been searching. As I have and had for so many years. She loves her camera. She is talented. She is unique and different. She will stand apart, I promise. It’s in the genes. Her father took many of my favorite photographs of my childhood She has grown up around the eccentricity of art. She will be a sponge. She will change, her life will be forever marked by this experience. I know she is running on empty. I know she is lost and searching for the way to go forth in the world and make her mark. I know this will be just what she needed. I know she will use it, maybe in a way this experience has never been used before. And that alone is exciting. She doesn’t just need a break. She doesn’t just need a weekend for herself. She needs the confidence that I never thought I could find, the confidence to just be me, and that that is good enough. Actually more than good enough.
Thanks Me Ra for what you gave me this year and for considering my cousin to have the same life changing opportunity. I hope I have done her an ounce of justice and expressed why she is so very worthy of this amazing and irreplaceable experience.
Megan’s email contact is newellfoster@comcast.net
I would like to take a moment to nominate Valerie Ott for this award/opportunity. I have known Valerie for several years and what has always amazed me is how passionate she is. Valerie pours herself into every project, position and person she knows and photography is no different.
I truly believe that a good photographer is not just a person who can take a nice picture…I have taken a nice picture. Rather a true photographer can look around them and see beauty in all images, in all people and in all things. Valerie has this gift. She strives to learn more every day about the technique of her craft but she already has the foundation of a great artist.
Valerie is an amazing candidate for this workshop and I hope she is given the chance to learn from other artists.
I would like to nominate Valerie Ott for your workshop. Valerie is the administrative Asst for the Department of political science. I am a professor of political science and I work with her. Valerie is the most efficient, kindhearted, creative and artistic administrator that I have known in over 30 years of working at this university. She has transformed our working space. She has volunteered to take pictures of various events in our department. My husband is a professional photographer and I see tremendous potential in Valerie’s photography. She has a great sense of beauty. Visiting her office is like stepping into an art gallery. Her photography is not only exceptional but it is heartwarming. She is a dedicated and disciplined photographer and would benefit immensely from your workshop. I recommend her without hesitation.
I would like to nominate a fellow photog and friend of mine, Jennifer, for the “running on empty” opportunity. Photography involving babies and children is what makes her heart sing, and just today, over lunch, I sat listening to how bummed out she has become with balancing her many roles in life: wife to a man working full-time towards his college degree, mother to an 18 mth old, self-employer as of March 2008, etc. I just KNOW that this opportunity would not only continue her education of photographing children, but help her revisit her passion in a way that could rejuvenate her for 2009!
Dear Me Ra, Thank you for the opportunity that you are giving me to nominate my daughter, Lora Ayers (laphoto@me.com), for the “running on empty” opportunity in Atlanta. Lora lives within 30 minutes of Atlanta and has been talking of nothing else but your workshop. Let me tell you a little bit about Lora. She is very beautiful inside and out. I was very young when she was born and we have grown up together. I realized early in life that she was not only my daughter but also my best friend. She is also a mother now to 3 wonderful children. When her first child was born she gave up many things to be able to stay home with him. She has been a stay at home mom now for the last 6 years. She has never been away from her children. I wish I knew the words to say to let you know how very much I want her to attend your workshop. Lora has a passion for photography that I haven’t seen in her before. She tells everyone about you and your website and she absolutely loves your style. I hope that when you read this you will feel the love I have for Lora and you will know that in Lora you will have chosen the right person for this honor.
Thank You,
Jeanne Gable
Wow. I feel honored that so many people have taken the time to nominate me for Running on Empty. Can I still nominate myself?
I could choose to write about some difficult life experiences. I could write about how my son fractured his skull when he was 9 months old, or when he broke his tibia at 14 months, or when he broke his femur at 26 months and was in a body cast for 9 weeks. But I won’t bore you with those details.
I could write about my challenge with post partum depression and my recent decision to try life without an anti-depressant. I could explain how my experience, which lead me to need medication was almost as bad as my experience of weaning myself that medication. But I won’t go there.
I could explain how I put myself through college and was the first person in my family to earn a Bachelor’s degree. Not only do I have a Bachelor’s degree, but a graduated with a Master’s degree and a 3.98 GPA. I could write about how much effort went into 6 years of higher education and now I work as an office assistant. Really, I won’t bore you with that story.
I want to explain why I think Running on Empty is perfect for me. It’s perfect because my tank needs a little gas. I get fueled by photography. Mention anything photo-related and a spark immediately ignites. I can only imagine the creativity and art I could produce if I was pumped full.
It’s so hard for me (well, who isn’t it hard for) to compliment myself, but I do know that I am really good at teaching and encouraging others. Part of the Running on Empty that excites me is what I can give to the other participants of this workshop. I want to share all of the fun things I have learned about my camera, my computer, my process and my style. Can you feel it? Lots of people need a boost. I want to share this fuel with the others.
I want to learn. I want to experience. I want fuel. I want to share. I would be willing to fly from Michigan to Georgia if you would be willing extend a hand.
It’s late and I have been going back and forth over whether or not to second the nomination I received from my amazing cousin Carrie Hasson. I actually went to bed because even though her beautiful words touched my soul, I thought I didn’t stand a chance of being selected. Not me. But as I layed there I kept thinking about what she said and slowly realized that she spoke a truth I hadn’t been willing to admit to myself so I had to get up. I am lost and have been running on empty for quite some time. I became a mother at a young age and never finished college. But somehow through sheer determination for my little girl I slowly built quite a career for myself in Media/Advertising. I loved what I did but always carried such guilt about being away from her and financially unable to stay home. I had my second daughter four years later and somehow we found a way that I could stay home. Don’t get me wrong, being a mother to these amazing little wonders is and will always be my greatest accomplishment. But over these five years that I have been home I really feel I have totally lost myself. I am just here. I am now known as Maddie and Gracie’s mom. Not even a name. I can’t even remember what I want for myself. I do know that photography (in my world it doesn’t have such a glamorous name-I just “take pictures”) has been a rare joy of mine. Specifically taking pictures of my girls. I get lost in it. For me I love to show people how I see my girls. As if the pictures capture them through my eyes. Carrie has been forever changed by attending your workshop. There is a twinkle in her eye that wasn’t there before and just a spark about her. She has found her calling. I don’t know if this workshop would do the same for me but I do know there is something inside me telling me I need to find a way to be there. She and I spoke indepth about your upcoming Atlanta workshop a week ago and I haven’t been able to put my camera down since. Even though I knew I couldn’t afford to go. Even after reading her lovely nomination today and thought there is no chance it would be me. But tonight laying in bed I thought..hey..why couldn’t it be me? I would love to come and take in all you have to offer. Maybe I would find my calling. Maybe not. What I most would want to take away from it though would be to find the best way possible to capture my babies moments..small and big. That would be the most amazing gift I could ever receive. Thank you for your consideration.
With love and gratitude,
Megan Foster
newellfoster@comcast.net
I’m too late for the nomination because I just read this post in my blogreader, but I wanted to comment and thank you for what you said about the seedpod and the courage it takes to do nothing.
I’ve been lurking on your site for the last six weeks or so. You see, it was six weeks ago that I bought my first SLR and thus finally began my childhood dream of taking pictures. I’m an artist already – a violinist – but I currently feel like I’m on hiatus from life due to chronic illness (thyroid and adrenal burnout among other things.) I just finished reading “The Artist’s Way” and I’m starting over and doing it again. Almost every post you write makes me cry. Somehow buying a camera and beginning a relationship with a different art form is waking up all the “asleep” parts of my artist soul. For the last two years I’ve had to find the courage to do nothing. It has been excruciatingly difficult and painful. But I think somehow through it all God is healing my artist heart as well as my body.
So I am running on empty here and thank you for being such an honest and vulnerable person as well as a beautiful photographer. It’s very inspiring. I wish, wish, wish that I’d known about you when I got married two years ago. Maybe someday my husband and I can stop by Seattle while we’re visiting all our west coast friends and we can have a romantic portrait shoot with you. It’s crazy after reading your blog for just six weeks, but I feel like I could connect with you – and I wish I’d had a photographer that had connected with me on my wedding day. We had a good photographer, but he just didn’t “get” the drama of the day. Looking at your pictures, I feel like you don’t just “get” the drama, you’re part of it.
Anyway, I’m rambling now. I think I’ll go over to your other site and order “Refuse to Say Cheese” now. And start saving my pennies so I can attend one of your weekends sometime in the future!
Thank you again!
Please bless my Ali of http://www.alibrownphotography.com with the Atlanta trip. She is a young momma who works very hard caring for her husband and 2 small boys. She is becoming a very good photographer using her God given talents to be blessed to be a blessing to her client. I believe she would be so encouraged to return to her birthplace of Atlanta after living in Great Falls, Montana for the past 6 years. Thank you for your consideration to my asking you to bless Ali with this class.
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