Photo Shoots

Who Leads When Taking Photos of Kids? Photographer or Kids?

Me Ra Koh

For me the answer is always the kids.

Most the time, adults need to lead children.

But there is also a time when adults need to step aside and listen to children, allowing the children to lead.

Whenever I do a portrait shoot for a family, I always watch and listen to the kids. They are my guide to how this session will unfold. They answer all my questions…How much energy do they have? How do they feel about the camera in their face? Are they scared by it, excited about it? Do they want to connect with me? What can they teach me? How would they take a picture if they were the photographer? Carter didn’t have to think about the answer to this question. πŸ™‚ He’s a natural!

I had the honor of taking Brendan’s photos this summer. It was such a rich experience because I also took Carter’s photos when he was a baby. To watch Gayla and Ken’s family grow is amazing. They are the most wonderful, kind family, and I’m so excited for you to see their slideshow! Turn up the volume, the music by Alison Krauss is perfect for this sweet family shoot.

To watch Brendan’s Slideshow, click on the name!

But even if you watch it, I have to show you two favorites!

Look at how Baby Brendan smiled in his brother’s arms.

Carter has got the sweetest face and little curls in his hair. I’m telling you, he will rob your heart when you meet him!

For those of you doing portrait shoots, here are a few rules of thumb I go by…

Before I start a portrait shoot with a baby, I always suggest feeding the baby right before we start. Not so much for hunger but comfort purposes. I know that I’m going to spend the next two hours asking this little baby to interact with me. And even if they sleep through the whole session, they will have connected with a me…a stranger. I want them to start with the smell of their mom, take a break in between and maybe nurse again–reconnecting with their mom, and then I watch them carefully to make sure I never ask to much.

As you can see in the first image above, the two year old can have pretty strong ideas about how a photoshoot should go. And I love it! Some photographers email me and say they get really stressed out at this point. The kids aren’t cooperating and getting crabbier by the second. But I think it’s important to remember that as you gain confidence in yourself, you will know when you’ve captured the shots you want.

And remember, the family rarely feels you caught anything “good” because they are caught up in how their kids are behaving or not behaving. But as your confidence grows, you’ll be able to reassure the family that you actually caught exactly what you wanted.

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This kit, along with all our other kits, was designed for you. We get so many emails every day asking us about how to get their portrait or wedding business off the ground. These kits are a compilation of all the answers we’ve found. Enjoy!

Congratulations Gayla! I loved working with your family again! What a honor. Brian and I adore all four of you. We can’t wait to connect again soon!

Much love,
Me Ra

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  1. jeramy says:

    these are great tips! i recently tagged along with sharon on a family shoot and saw some of this in action. great wisdom here. take care….have a great weekend!

  2. Denise says:

    That slide was SO PERFECT! I loved the ‘flying with dad’ shots – brilliant post!

  3. Linda says:

    The slide show was so super, super sweet! Love the song!

  4. What a beautiful family! I too am in awe of the privilege of watching a family grow. It’s just so much fun! Last night I did a family photo shoot at the park. With a family of five it was great to let the kids lead the way, their playfulness and creativity can be endless and that kind of freedom allows for their individuality to shine through. At times all I do is follow and capture the moments. Other times it takes some gentle guidance, encouragement and a tickle or two to engage the eyes and laughter. I also have a little hand puppet friend (Lion) that makes an appearance now and again. He works great because I can have him on my left hand and he helps me manipulate the lens and take the pics. Lion also gives the kids something to focus on and laugh at too. For me the key is to relax and truly enjoy the people I am with, from there the moments naturally unfold. Thanks always for the continued inspiration!

  5. kelli says:

    So darling! Do you use lightroom for your slideshows MeRa?

  6. bethelynk says:

    i just think your work is so, so wonderful!!!!

  7. Christy says:

    Thanks for these tips. I agree about letting kids be the leaders in the session. And reassuring is something I need to remember to do more of. I’m okay with the kids running and not sitting where I suggest because I know I’m still getting good shots, but sometimes the parents are really stressed about how it’s going. If I remember to let them know that I’ve captured great moments, it helps them to relax and enjoy the session….and hopefully recommend me. πŸ™‚

  8. Jill says:

    Those were beautiful pictures…I feel so peaceful and calm now after viewing the slideshow and hearing the music. Amazing what pictures can do for the mind.

  9. Katie says:

    I so agree photo shoots with kids are all about kids. It just makes it worse if you try and control the situation, then everyone gets stressed and its not fun. The best shots are when it is fun. I love taking pictures of my son. My most recent blog post is one he will probably kill me for, but kids are just so awesome to photograph I just love it. They bring me so much joy. Their innocense is beautiful and the fact that they are just so real. Does that make sense?
    Anyway, I will see you tomorrow night Me Ra, or at least I will be in the audience. So excited!!

  10. ratna says:

    I also have a two-years old and a baby. Every time I want to take a picture of them together, the big sister came running to me because she is curious about the camera in my hand. How do you solve this problem, Mera? Maybe it’s easier if the photographer is “outsider”?

  11. Angie says:

    Thanks for the tips – they are so helpful!

    One quick question – it seems to depend on the day as to whether I can view your pictures or not. Is this something on my end or are you posting them in a different way from time to time? For example, on Friday I could view all the photos on your site and today I can only see a white box with a red x in it.

    Just curious as I hate when I can’t see your beautiful pictures!! Thanks!!

  12. Thank you for being so generous with the information you share on your blog. It’s a recent discovery for me, and I’ll be back a ton I’m sure πŸ™‚
    I hope you don’t mind, but I gave you the ‘i love your blog’ award on my blog today.

  13. jen s. says:

    in the past couple of months…i’ve done 2 1 year old birthday parties…and itz so true…just let them go…and watch what happens…and you have a cake dive…or the eating of minnie mouse ears…and finger painting OH MY! lol πŸ™‚ I remember my most fav shot of these 2 parties was when lil trinity after all the coaxing and cake…finally put up her index finger…as if to say…yes, i really am ONE today. hahaha!!!! anyways………random. πŸ™‚ My 2nd fav shot was her face she kept making…kinda like a lil wrestler – she squinched her face and it was SO cute.

  14. FIMBY says:

    Loving Kindness…