Our family is in the thick of switching to our new routine for the summer with tennis and swim team in full swing. Even though the scheduling is not to crazy, I still feel crazy in my head as we adapt to our new morning schedule. And I think I get Loser Mom of the year award for last night and this morning!
First of all, let’s just say Blaze is not asking for swim lessons. Nope, he’d prefer to stay on the side of the pool rather than in the pool. But he’s four now, and we feel like it’s time he stop clinging to the side of the pool. So picture this…
Blaze screaming at the top of his lungs as I carry him to the pool. Then grabbing my clothes as I lower him into the pool and hand him to his teacher. Me fighting back the tears because I feel like EVERYONE is wondering how I could be so cruel. And then within two minutes, maybe even ONE minute, he is playing motor boat, laughing, splashing, blowing bubbles.
WHATEVER!!!
He totally loves it. So why must we do the whole screaming thing every single time! In Blaze’s defense it’s only Day Two, but still! 🙂
Okay, some of you are saying “That doesn’t deserve Loser Mom Awards! We’ve all been there too.” But wait, I haven’t told you about last night!
I come home from the gym one hour after the kids went to bed. Brian tells me that Blaze has been getting out of bed and changing into different pairs of pajamas. Dad is not happy with him. So when I hear Blaze murmur something from the top of the stairs, I don’t even bother looking at him but just say “Blaze, get back in bed.”
Three or four minutes go by…again, murmur-murmur-mama-murmur…
“Blaze, I said get back in bed.”
I’m making myself something to drink, putting the last dishes in the dishwasher, and suddenly I realize that Blaze and I have been having this cyclical dialogue for almost fifteen minutes. I decide to go upstairs and put an end this.
Can you believe this?
He is sitting on the toilet this whole time. His little murmur was “I went poopoo. I need someone to help me wipe.”
I almost fall apart and feel like the biggest LOSER mom ever!! Let’s just say he didn’t look like this at all!
Quite the opposite actually–the most pitiful little boy on the toilet you can imagine who has red lines all over the back of his legs when he stands up. What a loser mom! Don’t you think!
Brian chimes in and says, “He’s LUCKY I didn’t go upstairs because all I know is he’s out of bed again.” How can Brian say that!?? Just cruel!! Brian doesn’t have an ounce of guilt while my guilt truck has pulled up to my driveway and three guys are unloading all the bottles–in WAVES!
Would you have felt bad?
First thing this morning, Blaze comes walking out of the bedroom and says, “Mama, I waited so long for you to help me wipe last night. I still might have red marks on my legs from the toilet.” Then he went and sulked with his blankies.
Oh boy, he’s so got my number!
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Recipes for the above shots in case you’re wondering;
Happy Blaze on the Toilet
Aperture was at a 2.8
Shutter Speed was kind of low. It was at a 80th of a second (1/80). You can’t really hand hold your camera below a 60th of a second and not get camera shake or blur in the shot, so I was playing a little close to fire with being down to an 80th of a second.
ISO was 400. I tried 100 and 200 first but there wasn’t enough light in the bathroom. Photos were coming out to dark, so I had to bump up to a 400. The low ISO is for your best color saturation, and since I was in an all white bathroom, I figured the color saturation wasn’t to big of a deal anyways.
Blaze Sulking with His Ba-Ba’s
Aperture was down really low: 1.6. I shot this with a Fixed or Prime Lens. This means there is no zoom on the lens so I have to move my body to get closer, but because it’s a Fixed/Prime Lens I can go lower than a 2.8 in my F Stop. Hence, the yummy 1.6.
Shutter Speed was at 100th of a second or 1/100.
ISO was at a 200 because I just didn’t have enough light to be all the way down to a 100 ISO.
And a BIG THANK YOU!!!
I wanted to thank ALL of you who send us emails telling us that us you’ve referred our DVD series to your friends and family. The orders come in every day! The continued feedback is AWESOME. We are so excited that you like them so much! And I especially love it when you email me your images from the DVD exercises! I may not be able to respond to all emails, but feel free to always send us your DVD results. We LOVE seeing what you’re able to do after watching Refuse to Say Cheese and Beyond the Green Box!
OMG – WHATEVER! HA! If hes laughing and playing after two minutes in the pool, Id chuck him over the edge next time!
Id feel bad about the bathroom thing though – a lot of the time when my son has a hard time going down for bed i get so frusterated and then he poops and I realize THATS why he wasnt sleeping – I feel so bad!
[…] S. Weasel wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerptLoser Mom Award! Can You Beat This? Our family is in the thick of switching to our new routine for the summer with tennis and swim team in full swing. Even though the scheduling is not to crazy, I still feel crazy in my head as we adapt to our new morning schedule. And I think I get Loser Mom of the year award for last night and this morning! First of all, let’s just say Blaze is not asking for swim lessons. Nope, he’d prefer to stay on the side of the pool rather than in the pool. But he’s […]
I felt like SUCH a loser mom yesterday that I actually called the pediatrician’s office and got an appointment this morning to make sure I wasn’t ruining my daugther! There’s too much parenting information on the web and I ended up at a site that talked about how my 10 month old should know her body parts and be able to follow directions such as “show me your tummy” or “pet the kitty gently.” I thought, “What the heck, I haven’t been teaching this stuff! No one told me I have to teach her that this young!!”
Pediatrician assures me Kaitlyn is perfect and that those things come in a few months from now. But man, I thought for sure that I had missed some critical infant-education memo and had doomed my daughter to be slower than other kids for life. Apparently whattoexpect.com is geared towards MENSA babies if they are expecting a 10 month old to be able to know her body parts and understand (and comply!) with instructions.
That picture of Blaze sulking with his blanket is soooooooo great. I completely love shots like that – as nice as posed, smiling or laughing family portraits can be, they aren’t everyday real life. But that Blaze shot? Totally real. That will be a great story to laugh over when he’s older, and it’s so precious that you have a shot of him pouting. Poor Blazey! He needs ice cream. 😉
Oh poor Blaze!
Me Ra, I can relate, my daughter is 3- and I have unfortunately gone through this. Honestly, I actually laughed because I totally remembered my daughters little bum with those toilet frame lines 🙂 Also that Blaze said the next morning that he still might have the red marks… he is soooo cute! Poor baby! And don’t be so hard on yourself, if you haven’t already, I truly believe that someday you will look back and laugh at this!
You were actually doing him a very big favor by making him get into the water. Kids really do feel what you are feeling and if you feel stress then they will too. Know that you are helping him to gain life skills and those lessons aren’t always that fun. Didn’t he do this with skiing too?
And for the bed time last night. Poor boy! But, he did kinda set himself up for that. Don’t feel bad. He’s just going to learn that he shouldn’t mess around… The boy who cried wolf… remember him? I actually haven’t told my kids that story, but it is a lesson that kids need to learn.
I have done the same sort of thing with my kiddos. It happens to all parents. Right? One keeps coming in your room for lame things and when you finally get mad and don’t answer the call they throw up everywhere. Or the “I have to go potty” in EVERY single store and when you’ve had enough and say, “Hold it.” They have an accident. OR when you keep saying, “She’ll go back to sleep in a minute.” then she doesn’t, so you go a check on your sweet little precious baby to find she has had a major blow out nasty diaper!
It happens to us all, but they forget about it.
Oh MeRa, definitely don’t be too hard on yourself. Let me tell you I get the loser/mean mom award. My son and I have had countless issues. My little guy is 8 and still doesn’t want to go to bed and ended up in trouble last night for the same reason. He has digestion issues and also has sat on the potty for long periods of time waiting for me to wipe….I did feel bad but as quickly as possible taught him to use the flushable wipes! At least your little one didn’t tell you he wanted a new mom. Now that mine is older he tells me that. I tell him I’ll let him live with some of my friends that I know are much more strict and demanding of their children and then he can tell me how mean I am. They are a wonder! You are an amazing mother not a loser Mom. I loved the pictures (as usual).
Lauren, don’t beat yourself up about those developmental milestones. I’m a speech-language pathologist and work with infants and toddlers so if you ever have questions just let me know and we can also chat in Chicago. Don’t shoot me but body parts (1-2) on my developmental scale is at about 12 months, however it is much later on some of the other developmental assessments, my assessment tool is really tough on body parts. Following simple commands is only “occasionally”, at the same age such as give to me (with your hand out). Your child is very blessed to have you as a mother. Don’t worry you are doing a great job!
OMG, I’m so glad that I’m not the only mom who has let her child sit on the toilet until there were red marks. 🙂 You ladies are so great to let me know your out there!
And Lauren, I did something so similar with Pascaline. She was such a slow talker that I started getting worried and her checked on. And now to think that I ever worried. Now I need to know how to get her to stop talking! 🙂
I blogged my “Mother of the Year” moment on my blog last year:
http://thenilesfamily.blogspot.com/2007/07/mother-of-year.html
You can’t let guilt weigh you down. Just laugh and blog. 😉
Poor Blaze, I can totally relate! We are just starting potty training with Niall. On Saturday morning he decided he wanted to sit on the potty so I got him settled and read him a book, and then another book, and another. As time was dragging on I tried to get him up repeately but he wouldn’t budge. I had to return some equipment to Glazier’s before 10 and I was thinking of taking him with me so my husband could sleep in, but he wouldn’t get off the stupid potty!
So I woke up my husband, loaded up the equipment in the car, and headed out to Glaziers to return my equipment with Niall still sitting on the potty. It’s in the middle of the living room and he’s playing with toys quite happily so I wasn’t too worried, and I figured he would get tired of this pretty quickly after I left.
When I got back from Glazier’s nearly an hour later he was still sitting on the potty. He must have been sitting there for more than 90 minutes, and it wasn’t like he was alone, one of us was always there trying to get him to get up! Anyway, when he saw me he just burst into tears! At that moment I felt like the worst mom in the world.
Kristin and Me Ra – thanks for your input!!!
The whole problem was exponentially worse because I have had the worst experiences at my ped’s office until today. They kept sticking me with this nasty NP who yelled at me because Kaitlyn is small ( <5% ) and said things like, “Are you feeding her?” So, I have NEVER had any “this is what you should work on & what to expect in the time before our next appointment” chats at the ped’s office.
The pediatrician this morning was so nice to me and totally didn’t pick on me for having a first-time-mommy freak-out moment. We had such a wonderful talk and now I feel great about those issues. I bought Kaitlyn a couple books and some stacker cups at the store today. Now to wake her up… heehee.
I can’t even IMAGINE potty training. My stepson came with all his training in place, LOL. I’m sure I’ll have sitting-on-the-pot-crying stories with Kaitlyn! But first we plan to conquer pulling up to standing. 😉
Can’t wait for Chicago! And the forum to keep me sated in the mean time! ♥
LOL…Did you check to see if he still had the red marks??? Its always so encouraging when they point out your mishaps…my son, who is 5 now did the whole “I don’t want to go to bed” thing to me one night, & when I had enough, & started ignoring him, & threatening him within an inch of his life….don’t judge, you know you all have done it….yeah, that would be when he was trying to tell me that he had a bloody nose….by the time I went to him, ready to take toys away, or whatever would really effect him, his whole face was full of blood, he had it in his hair, ALL over his PJs…oh yes, so bad, he had to get in the shower….lol….SORRY ME RA….BEAT YA!!!! LOL I even got in the shower with him so he wouldn’t see me cry…my name is Shannon, & I am a loser Mom!!!! Susanne is right…you really do laugh about this kind of stuff eventually…as a Mom, you will remember it LONG after they do!!!! Much Love & Many Blessings, 😉 Shannon
I was Blaze when I was a kid. The swimming not the potty thing. I can relate to that too (my daughter). I would stand on the side of the pool, cry and suck my thumb. When they got me in, I had a great time. Next day, same thing. Can’t tell you why but I remember it. Good luck.
Me Ra:
It’s a tough balance, parenting. Always walking the tightrope between overwhelming emotional frustration and guilt for feeling that way.
I just read an article about how today’s parents feel they have to put their kids on a pedestal, less the kids don’t grow into their optimal selves. The author compares this to the old days, where parents paid much less attention to their kids, but loved them equally nonetheless. Interesting article: http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/015/161yutrk.asp
Also, I saw your DVDs last week, and they were great (photographing kids). I’m leaving for a big trip with my wife for our 10th anniversary, and I bought a new Nikon (D300) a month ago to document the journey. Of course, it’s way over my head, and I felt frustrated trying to learn the settings and controls. Then I saw your DVD.
You have a natural gift of instilling confidence to viewers. A combination of your personality and story (your husband rocks too).
I started using some of your suggestions, and got great results quickly. So much so that I’m getting lots of compliments from my friends (I feel like a fraud in a way, because it’s not like I’m experienced or professional like you).
I invite you to follow the trip with my wife and I. Some of my friends know where we are going, but for most, I’m blogging as a way to create mystery and suspense. Also, to share some of my photography as I learn.
I hope to meet you some day, and I look forward to other DVD releases. Please feel free to put my email on a mailing list.
Thanks a lot,
Eric Bozinny
Seattle (actually, Kenmore)
I relate to the whole story as well, thanks for sharing. I wish I always had my camera on hand to catch those moments. But the part I related to best was your husband saying ‘Blaze is lucky I didn’t go up there” I always wonder how my husband never feels any guilt in those situations. That’s what mommy’s are for. And I realized nomatter how many bad mommy awards I have on my wall my two kids couldn’t care less cause I’m their mommy!! It’s so great to be a mom!
This reminds me a lot of bathtime in my home. My 9 yr old and 4 yr old daughters still take daily baths together and it’s turned into being their best playtime of the day. They have all kinds of crazy games and “let’s pretend” going on. I find myself yelling out, “wash your hair”, “is your hair rinsed really good?”, “start finishing up”. “no more fighting or you’re gonna get out”, “are you almost done?”, “time to finish up”, “just a few more mintes!”, “ok girls 5 more minutes!”. Yep, it’s bad…these are all in succession during one bath time. I sound like a loser mom, I think mostly because they’re always completely shocked when I show up to hand them their towels and get them out! In fact, it’s time to go get them out now, my little prunes. But it gave me a chance to do a little “surfing” of my own so guess it’s not so bad lol.
Update!
Girls ran out on their own, dripping wet with sudsy hair screaming
“spiiiiiiiderrrrrrrrrr!!!”
Nice, nice and very nice Baby!
Happy forever
heheeh i found out that one of the folks coming to our life team has your dvds…hope that we can use them to TEACH us all the basics of f-stops and more. lol!
Shannon and Carol, your stories are amazing. They were sad but I couldn’t help but laugh because if they had happened to me, I would have fallen apart. And I love you two for sharing with us so we no we are NOT alone. 🙂
Eric, thanks for all your incredible feedback on the DVDS!! I’m so glad you are liking them! You’ll have to keep us updated here and let us know when to look at your blog as you post photos from your trip! Have a wonderful time!! Brian and I just did our 10 year anniversary this last year in Thailand. You’ll have to check out my post in Personal Reflections or maybe it’s in the Thailand Category on why anniveraries are so much better than honeymoons! 🙂 Bon voyage friend!
[…] you so much for all the FUN and HILARIOUS posts on the Loser Mom blog post! Your comments and stories were such a kick to read! If you haven’t read them yet, […]
LOL…OH CAROL!!!! YOU WIN!!!! LOL I don’t know how I missed that one the other night, but OH MY!!! I can see that seen happening at my house too…did you drop everything in your hands on the floor & run to Niall to console him so he wouldn’t see you cry??? LOL I’m sure you are a FANTASTIC MOM!!!! Much Love & Many Blessings, & here is to mishaps that bring us back to reality….& future great stories!!!! LOL 😉 Shannon
Me Ra –
Hope all is well. My wife and I have been in Bali a few days now, and I’ve started posted some photos and narrative on my blog. I’m inspired to write my own top ten reasons anniversary trips are better than honeymoons. I think every couple needs to write their own, because you’d see 1000 different lists!
Leslie and I have been thinking about taking the kids somewhere foreign to live for a year or two. Bali seems that kind of a place (as do Provence and Tuscany and Buenos Aires), but Leslie just read about all the fungi and parasites that one can catch..it’s fre-a-king her out (especially we just went rafting in a river).
I hope you enjoy my blog (or as my semi-whenever-she-feels-like-being computer literate wife calls it, my blob).
🙂
http://bozinny.wordpress.com
Hi Me Ra, this is my first post to your site which I check every few weeks. You are hilarious and I love your humor and candor. As a mom to a 5 and almost-8 year old and I work part time, so much of our maddening world is divided between being supermom and being superwife and superphotographer and maybe even superdaugther. Keep the humor going b/c if you can laugh, you can do and be anything. I love the toilet story and my 5 year old boy is a motor mouth so there are MANY times I tune him out and many times he is trying to tell me something important or profound! What a great story tho!
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