Today is a little bit of a long one. Some of you know what that means. 🙂
Brian sent me away this last Monday and Tuesday for two nights of being alone. I had no idea how lonely I was for myself–how much I missed time with just me. Does that make sense? I slept in past noon! I had no idea I was that tired. I spent time writing pages and pages–and it wasn’t for anyone or anything but me.
I had no idea there was that much stuff that needed to come out of me. It’s amazing how life can keep moving right along and without realizing it, you slowly lose touch with the status of YOU.
I’m on a mission this summer, and the mission is ME. We have a break from our normal travel schedule, and I decided that this summer was going to be about replenishing and taking care of me. Sounds selfish as I type it, but I know I’m not any good to my the ones I love if I don’t take care of me. So a summer of focusing on me…sounds even dreamy–until the rubber hits the road.
I called up Fay, one of our SOAR! Business Coaches, and asked for help. She came up from San Francisco and spent three days in our home “looking for where energy is leaking in our family culture that doesn’t need too”. I thought “How fun! Happy kids, awesome husband, what can she find?!” Good Lord, little did I know how exposed I would FEEL!
In the weeks to come, I’ll be sharing more of my revelations with Fay, but one of my favorite pearls of wisdom from her time with us was us a Family Calendar. A big, BIG, family calendar that everyone can access and see and is easy to change/update. Why? She noticed one evening that Blaze asked me 4 or 5 times what was happening in the next few days. Answering his question, repetitively, took so much energy out of me that could be better used in other ways if we had a family calendar for him to access. So simple, right? And yet, it’s rocking our family culture at home.
So, I’m working on the status of ME and what I’m finding is a mixed bag. I’ve learned that the numbness in my hands is the beginnings of carpal tunnel, and that my Iron Stores and Adrenals are depleted. I’m realizing how important Acupuncture is for the future of my hands, writing and photography. I’m seeing the need to bite the bullet and invest in supplements that restore my Iron, Adrenals, and overall health. I’m being transformed by the heat of Bikram yoga and finding I need quiet space more than ever. Like I shared in my keynote at EVO, I need space to go underground, to sit in mystery and fill my own creative spirit.
To stay in a place of creativity, I have to be able to retreat and find quiet. I’ve known this but am coming to really know it this summer. So now how do we shift our family culture and business model to design spaces of retreat and quiet? Life feels too full to make this happen. But why not try! That’s the question we are trying on for size this summer.
I’ve got BIG dreams ladies, SUPER BIG DREAMS! And I’m thinking I need to revisit this idea of being intimately involved with the status of ME so I can continue to walk forward in my heart’s passion which is the status of YOU!
How about you? Do you feel aware or unaware of the status of you? What steps do you take to reconnect with yourself, your own well being?
xo,
m
p.s. Speaking of Fay and Business Coaching…
What is Business Coaching? How do you build a business with Feminine Wisdom? Our SOAR! Gals each wrote a blog post about how Feminine Wisdom and Business Coaching has shaped their year, business and dreams. CLICK HERE to read, I know you’ll gleam much from all three!
p.s.s. Early Bird Price for CONFIDENCE Fall Workshops ENDS THIS WEEKEND!
You have no idea what this post means for me right now. Struggling right now. So – thank you.
Excellent post and a great reminder:) I’m have my own business and I feel in the shadow of my husbands career and raising my children. It is terrific to read that you are working on “You”. For some reason I feel the need to know that it is okay to focus on myself. Mommyhood is no joke and my military husband will be deploying soon leaving me feeling like my dreams may have to be on the back burner. Thank you for this post, I needed to read your words and refocus.
I am new to this blog. This has become my summer of physical healing. Major surgery to try and repair a damaged shoulder (violent ex-husband). I had let the injuries be for 30 years and now face time with no writing, no camera work except with tripod and cable release. Not feeling creative and low. Your blog reminds me that I can try to focus on me, it is OK. Keep up your work, it helps others.
This is such great timing!!!
I was just saying to my husband i NEED a vacation for ME! that i miss ME! I constantly have my girls to my side no matter where i go and feeling so suffocated! I find myself staying up all hours of the night just to be alone. but then im only getting a few hours of sleep!
I just started reading the Artist way (ok its my 3rd time starting it..lol) and began a plan how to implement some time to myself. going to bed early to wake up before the girls do so i can do the morning pages, possibly fit in some working out, maybe ride the stationary bike for 10min? . My husband even said he would work with me so i can do the Artist date!
seems feasible right?!! i spoke to my therapist a few days ago and she felt i was putting too much on myself? possibly setting myself up for failure. Now i have a Fear of failing (who doesnt..lol) and i never fully try things because of that! I was taken back by my therapist statements! Ive been in a daze since that session, so confused!
seriously this blog came at such a great time, i absolutely needed it! like you say “why not try!” Im going to TRY! so what if i fail!! dont i just get back up and try again?
Thank you MeRa <3 I love how your blogs always speak to me at just the right moment!
I can’t even begin to tell you how great it is to read this post right now, and to know that I’m not alone in my feelings. And that I’m not being selfish for having such thoughts. Hugs to all of you, Me Ra and the ladies who commented above.
Wow, every comment is a gift to me. You ladies help me see that I’m not alone in feeling lonely for myself. It’s funny to me b/c it seems that women are generalized as being the ones who need time to talk, socialize, and men need to go into their caves. but I’m finding that I have my own cave that I need time in too. You know what I mean?
xoxo,
m
Yes. Trying to find what is the right schedule for me. Feeling overwhelmed (but thankful) that my business has grown. Looking for my mind to not be so overwhelmed so I can be free to expand my thinking to know how to grow, but stay true to what is my dream. Purposefully trying to reschedule morning time … wanting to make sure all priorities are in order. Prayer needed & accepted! :o) Love you Mera, thanks for sharing yourself again … <3
“me time”….what’s that? 🙂 oh yeah….my commute. 🙂 seriously, i’m happy for you. you push really hard a huge percentage of the time. i’m glad you are replenishing. good stuff.
MeRa, I can identify with where you are, this is a journey I have been one for the past 6 months or so and there are days where I feel I am just beginning this journey. One step I am taking isn’t starting to meet regularly with a Spiritual Director so we will see how it goes. Hopefully she will help me to be more intune to what my soul needs and how to practically get there.
Such good stuff, Me Ra! I’ve been working with a business coach here locally and we’ve been talking a lot about how much I live in my head and not the rest of my body. One of the pieces of wisdom she has been working on right now is taking a moment in the midst of a stressful time to really feel it – to understand and observe the physical manifestation of the stress. And then, to think about where my feet are at that moment. It sounds funny when I type it out but thinking about my feet helps bring me present in the moment in my body. That’s what I’m working on this summer. You are shining star!
OMG, this post is so meant to be. I just talked to my husband about your workshop and explained that I needed time for me. I am almost 29 and I have never been alone. So I am coming to Seattle! YAY!!
YEAH Krista!!! Can’t wait to have you there! What a wonderful way to gift your creative self with a FRESH start this FALL! We are going to have a blast Krista! See you soon! (Genie will contact you next week with fun stuff about the workshop!)
Melinda, my business coaches have said a similar thing and it’s so powerful to get in touch with the physical manifestation of what stress is doing to you in that moment, but then feel your feet rooted and stable.
xoxo,
m
Do you hear my thoughts or something???!! 🙂
After I took your workshop 2 yrs ago, I made sure to spend time with just me. To get to know me again, to like me again.
This year, I have not done much of that and I am starting to feel the negative affects of it. I was just telling my husband last month that I need a break from something. From what, I’m not sure, but I just need a break.
Thank you, Me Ra, foe always sharing your heart and letting us know we are not alone in our feelings!!! Love you!
Love you Me Ra! Thanks for the encouragement and to know it’s ok to spend time and to do things for yourself. I get on a plane in the morning for Las Vegas by myself to attend a conference I’ve been wanting to go to get filled up and get to see my son who is living there at the same time. I have been feeling guilty about going! Thanks for the post!
Love, Sue
no guilt! It’s ok to go!!!
[…] a big fan of moms unabashedly claiming time for themselves. Maybe the more we admit to needing it, the less guilty we can all feel about claiming […]
The calendar! We JUST started that in early june when I just couldn’t keep track of anything anymore – I was constantly trying to figure out what I could do and not do and now we have a family calendar – woo! I let kayden color in the blank days because its a whiteboard one 😛
I feel like my “My” time is really when I’m editing. I love it. I know most photographers don’t but I think I’m good at it, I get to zone out and listen to music and be creative – I think I’m lucky to feel that way about something I need to do anyway. But sleeping until noon one day sounds great! Glad you’re getting refreshed!! xoxoxoxo
Summers are hard on me. While I love the relaxed schedule with the kids out of school and the abundance of time I can spend with them. I’m so drained after a few weeks because my solitary time is gone. For me it all goes back to my continual struggle of finding balance between me, my family and my responsibilities.
Thanks for sharing! I loved your keynote at evo ‘ll. And I’m loving your book and applying for photographing my new grand baby.
I love the way you speak from the heart. Brian is so great for listening.
I was just telling myself that it’s OK to read a book and watch the kids and heal a little today. Nothing on the calendar today.
What a gift this post is, Me Ra. It resonates with nearly every woman, no matter their season in life. I will be retreating to a cave soon too. Glorious.
Thank you for this post. I had to hit “STOP!” after Evo too…I realized my work and marathon training schedule were running me, and something had to give. I had no time for my husband or friends, and every moment was spent thinking about the next thing to do. Thanks for this reminder to hit pause, unplug, and care for myself. This weekend, I decided that the marathon training had to go – it was running me down even further. This afternoon, I retreated to our bedroom, cranked the AC, took a nap, then read a book – for FUN for 2 hours. It was bliss.
I also tend to adrenal fatigue, so I know well how that goes. I’ve amped up my supplements in the last month, and am feeling a bit better, but the adrenals definitely take some care and time to recover.
wow Jenn, I’m really proud of you for putting the marathon training on pause. It is so HARD to do things like that. But it sounds like your spirit was telling you how much and how little it can do right now. listening and acting on what you hear takes much courage.
xoxo,
m
With computers in the shop for 6 days and a flat tire yesterday, I was forced to purge and organize. But I didn’t relax, per se. I still carried some pressure around with me. This post is a good reminder to let it go. Having the kids home from school effects the style of my productivity…and the absence of alone time does drain me. But it’s my kids….they’re older and “easy” now (8 and 12)…it’s like I had this unconscious belief that I should be able to manage the summer without a THOUGHT to alone time for me. Whoa, WRONG! lol
Me Ra, thank you so much for another amazing blog post. Another lady commented how your posts always seem to hit at the right time and I’d have to ditto that. I feel it is SO important to give ourselves the ME time and I typically have a lot of people in my life that look at me so weird when I say that and sometimes I find myself retreating into my cave but not telling the truth of what I’m actually doing (having the sacred me time) because people may think I’m not a good mom.
But then I dust myself off and I know that I AM a great mom and a better person all round for taking the time to nourish my soul.
Love it Me Ra. You are so inspiring. I can’t wait to see what your family calendar looks like in action. I would love to do something similar at my house.