“With all that you do, why this? Why?” they ask.
Because I believe every mother and father has the same need. The need to reconcile within themselves not only what their kids need but what they, as parents, need to experience with their kids. For every parent this looks different. For me, it looks like this image above.
Because I look at all the times we are gone, doing our shoots or workshops, and I realize I’m rarely ever tired of these kids. In fact, I’m often in a state of longing for more time with them.
Because I know how vital it is for a mother to know with certainty what brings her fulfillment at the end of the day. Was it the conversations she had while in the car with her three sons? Was it the homework she helped with? Was it the bedtime prayers and pillow talk that only seem to bloom when the lights go out?
I had to find what brings me fulfillment–for this stage of parenting that I’m in.
When I looked at how this season of life is playing out, I found fulfillment in witnessing my daughter learn to read. I found fulfillment in watching my son weave his own story for us at dinner. And I slept at night with total peace.
This is not for everyone, but I have found this is for me.
What is your answer when people ask you “Why?”
A couple answers to why:
Because my lovely 9 year old daughter wants to spend her time making dolls and is becoming quite talented at doing so, and we want to give her the freedom to do that:
http://fimby.tougas.net/Education_and_Doll_Making
And because we want to live in the moments of each season:
http://fimby.tougas.net/three_reasons_we_homeschool
All day kindergarten is a very long day. I’m not sure for who, her or me. I miss her. She is loving it.
I finally took my little one to a tot class. He looked up at me when we sang itsy bitsy spider like “this is wonderful why haven’t I heard this before.”
Her smile and his eyes are my “Why?”
Beautiful Dorian. just beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Wow, Renee, the doll she’s making is AMAZING! Good job with taking the photos you took!
It’s wonderful to read your post about “why”. I’ve been a blog stalker for a bit now, but this post evokes me to step out of the shadows to share. Cause as I’ve been in this business for only a year now I find it hard to balance life, photography business maker, wife, and of course mom. But as I sit here and daze to the future I see my family around the table sharing stories of their day and looking back on the past sharing stories of our good life. But for me today the why is in every giggle I can cause my children to have. I find great joy and fulfillment from hearing their little voices tell their happiness story with full belly laughs and to witness their checks turn that blush color that only true laughter can cause. Their happiness strikes my motherhood heart in such a way that it makes all the little trials in life and business seem irrelevant.
time has spun by and it’s hard to believe i have stayed home the past 10 years to raise my girls. i’ve done it because there is nowhere else i would rather be. sometimes i don’t feel like i’ve been the best professional stay at home mom, but i hope that as i enter this new chapter in my parenting that my girls will appreciate all the time and love i have devoted to just them and respect and admire me for when i felt it was time to add a little more- for just me. i think this has made me a better mom, a better woman and i hope i can make my girls as proud as they make me!
i love how happy you all look in this pic, you all have a smile and seem so relaxed! i wonder if writers also have a closet teacher in them? i know that is the case for me. i ALWAYS had to be the teacher growing up and have considered going back to school many times to teach…i guess it’s no surprise that homeschooling your children would fill you up, as you teach countless people on a daily basis through your blog, dvds and workshops!
When people ask why we choose homeschool, I say because we love having the complete FREEDOM! It’s also something God put on my heart to do. This is my first year homeschooling my kids (I’m also a photographer) and we’re having fun. I love the fact that mornings don’t have to be crazy, getting ready in a frantic rush to bring the kids to school. I love the fact that we don’t have to worry about the school calendar and when to take vacations. I love that fact that on Monday, instead of doing school work in the house we made teepees outside and learned about Native Americans and did all our school work in the teepees.
I have about 20 other reasons why we homeschool, but one of my favorites is having freedom.
Hi Mera!!!
Nearing the home stretch of becoming a mother, using stretch literally as having new marks on my lower abdomen, and nearing the end of my special bond carrying our baby, I am now understanding the sacrifices my parents made for my sister and I. I know I only understand a small portion of this, but I understand the need of taking care of yourself in order to take care of your child. With me right now, it’s trying to stay as healthy as I can so she can be as healthy as she can be depending on me alone.
I think God made it this way for the parent to realize the total dependence a child will have on it’s parents. No matter how tired I am or how bad my back hurts or the new battle scars on my stomach, I can’t wait for her to wake up and give me a little nudge to remind me she is still there. So even with my 7 month experience of being somewhat a Mom, I totally understand why you do what you do. It’s such a gift to be able to spend extra time with your kids and educate them in such a special way. I wonder what John and I are going to do???
Because I love it! This is our 7th year of homeschooling and I just can’t imagine it any other way. It’s not for everyone but it totally works for our family.
It’s been challenging to have a growing photography business these past few years…but the boys are super excited to learn the ins and outs of Photoshop this year, woo-hoo! LOL
It’s just so exciting to see them learn, to be there for the “lightbulb moments” and share the world with them, to have fun with them, and to see them spending time together as brothers. It truly is a blessing. I’m glad you have been blessed by your experience with it too. 🙂
xoxo cristina
Because I love it! This is our 7th year of homeschooling and I just can’t imagine it any other way. It’s not for everyone but it totally works for our family.
It’s been challenging to have a growing photography business these past few years…but the boys are super excited to learn the ins and outs of Photoshop this year, woo-hoo! LOL
It’s just so exciting to see them learn, to be there for the “lightbulb moments” and share the world with them, to have fun with them, and to see them spending time together as brothers. It truly is a blessing.
xoxo cristina
more than reading posts like this, I love reading the comments that follow!
They say that for the first part of a babys life, the baby has absolutely no sense of ‘self’ – he truly believes he and the mother are one person. When I found this out, I realized that I sort of felt the same. That I’m connected to him in a way that I’m not connected to anyone or anything else.
There are so many books and movies and songs I like just because he likes them too. I love anything that makes him happy. I love when he learns a new word, when he falls asleep on my shoulder, when he laughs at our dog – all of it.
Oh, this was such a lovely post. We have just a baby right now, so I have plenty of time to ease my friends and family into the idea of un/homeschooling her. I am looking forward to it more than I can say. There is nothing more exciting to me than to watch a child learn and explore. I didn’t have her so that I could send her away for half the day and wonder who she is when she comes home. They grow up so fast that you only have to shut your eyes for five seconds to marvel at what you see when you open your eyes back up. Some parents need school time to themselves, but for those who don’t mind all this togetherness and are lucky enough to have the choice, there is nothing I can imagine wanting more than to share every growing moment with my child.
This makes alot of sense, and yep.. I wondered why too. So now I know! You are so right, every parent needs to find the best way to connect with their kids. When they are babies they are literally attached to you, but as they grow.. sometimes the distance can take you by surprise. My boys are eight and ten.. and somedays I catch myself thinking.. did I even have a conversation with my boys today?? While home schooling is not for me, I can see how it is for you. Lately we have been having “talks on the bed” time everyday. Alone with each kid, we talk for a minimum 15 minutes about anything they want to talk about without any distractions. We snuggle and talk. It helps me stay connected, and that’s what my kids need from me.. to be present when I’m with them.
I have twin girls who will soon be 4 years old. We do work on a lot of different things together and they LOVE to learn, however, I will not be homeschooling them. That said I am not one of those who would ask why. I understand with all my heart why, and have many reasons of my own as to why I would. Being told you can not have any more children, and my twins being my first and last pregnacy, really makes you stop a million times in a day and cherish all those beautiful moments that bring tears to your eyes when you look back on them. All their firsts, all the magic in every little thing they see. How you some how re-live your own childhood through them and then realizing how blessed you are because as much as you don’t want to you are slowly having to let go of them little by little every single day. If I could keep them home with me, and home school them and be able to hold on to them even just that much longer it would be amazing.
I think all of you that make that possible are also amazing and your family bond and strength is beautiful! I admire every single one of you!
I applaud you for what you are doing. I totally believe that some public schools are terrible. Teachers are not teaching. Students are not learning. AND it becomes a waste of everyone’s time. However…(coming from a public school teachers eyes…)do you worry about the time your kids are missing interacting with other children their age? Do you worry about them missing out on the public school fun?
I am not against what you are doing….again I applaud you for what you are doing.
ooo, Id like to second Amanda’s question. How DO you decide that home schooling is right for you and your family? I have a couple of years to come to that decision but am still thinking on it now – what makes you all decide to home school? And how do you replace the interaction with other children that they would have gotten at school?
Me Ra,
You guys are awesome! You look like you are having such a great time. The thing in life that gives me the most joy is when my kids just want to talk or share a story and I am there to listen intently. My kids are 22, 19 & 18 and it is still a blast. The 19 & 18 year old boys make me laugh daily. It is so amazing to have grown up kids who still like to hang with Mom & Dad. You & Brian and the kids will treasure these times forever. Treasure it cuz it goes by soooo fast.
Love you guys!
this is so lovely me ra… thank you for sharing.
why… because loves compels us no other way. because when i look at this — http://www.charleystar.typepad.com —
i know that she holds all gifts.
and she is teaching me to slow down. to be present. to live more fully…
xxo
charley star
The word “BALANCE” comes to mind when I answer the question to Why we do what we do? We do public school with a foundational start of Christian Pre-school. This works great for us! We are of the mind set that it is important for our kids to interact and socialize with their peers and engage and learn how to thrive in this world. We believe that it will serve them well as the years pass and they adventure into new territories in which we will not always be able to be with them. Public school does not come without its challenges and negative influences, but it’s a realm we are willing to walk together as a family in hopes of encouraging our kids how to positively handle difficult people or challenging social situations. It has been a joy to see the confidence flourish in their little lives as they spread their wings to fly a little each day. I leave smiling, happy kids as school that know they have a cozy, happy, more rested and more organized mommy and home to come home to :). I am more in tune with meeting some of my own needs and having some time to fill my own cup each day, which in turn has helped me be a better mom. We have more quality time then quantity these days. We are very mindful to spend time reading, playing and adventuring as a family so they can continue to be nurtured and educated at home as well. Personally I have found it to be a great blessing to have the influence of other awesome adults in my children’s lives. I also love that I can volunteer in their classrooms and get to know the world in which they are experiencing and people that they are spending time with.
I admire and appreciate the patience and creativity of home schooling mothers. My only struggle as of late is all the home schooling mothers that I know seem to be so worn out and miserable. They are unhappy and so are their kids. (It was really nice to read some positives here on this post.) I often wonder if my girlfriends are really doing the right thing for their kids or if they are more focused on meeting their own personal needs as a parent to protect and control. My question would be are you parenting out of “Fear”? If so it might not be for the right reasons! Blessings to all us parents that are doing what we see fit for our kids and our family. I think we all do what we do, because we love our kids!
I cannot sufficiently describe the journey I have been on with my children, nor the freedom we have found. My oldest daughter is 17, my youngest is 7. I feel incredibly blessed to have let my children learn to become and explore their true selves. I could just really go on and on, but the other great thing about homeschooling is not having to pay for bad school photos. On my blog I have posted what is going to be my version of Bella’s 2nd grade school picture. http://kellycolucci.blogspot.com/
P.S. I love love love Charley Star’s photos. They really say it all!
jugar al show girls poker en línea…
stoves?anion casks …
But I?ll still take that over random strangers wanting to touch my belly. *shivver*