Artist Living

To Dream by Brian

Me Ra Koh

Okay, here’s the deal.

Me Ra is still looking at the 100’s of 1000’s of water contest entry’s and she asked if I, her supportive, loving and handsome husband, would write the blog fer her this morning so she can focus on trying to narrow down millions of amazing images to 5 for us to vote on.

Me Ra asked me a while back if she could post one of my poems. I’m not really a “writer”, but when I write or journal it tends to be more of a poem format than prose. They never rhyme though and there’s not much rhythm, but maybe you’ll agree. All that said I thought, posting a couple of my poems for Me Ra’s blog would be an easy way to write her blog for her today as we patiently wait for our 5 finalists!

Disclaimer: If you don’t like reading poetry of any sort, today’s post may bore you to death. So don’t worry. Me Ra will be back tomorrow or maybe even later today.

I’m going to share two, but PLEASE be nice with your comments. I’ve never shared my writing with anymore than 1 or 2 people, so I’m feel a little vulnerable and I know you don’t want to read tomorrow about a grown man crying. That really would be embarrassing for me. (Even more than my underwear shot. We remember how embarrassing that was don’t we? If you don’t, you’re going to have to find that one on your own). 🙂

This first, one let’s call “To Dream.” I was thinking that maybe I’d give some background to each of them either at the begin or end, but what do you think? Is it interesting to hear about a poems background, or is it more meaningful on its own? Anyway, here’s the first of two.

To Dream

I Need Not to Need
I hate hate
I’m desperately independent
I need to loose to constantly prove I can’t be beat
Like a boxer needing to be punched
My soul longs to be shamed
to know my place
to know what to do
How to be
What to want
without doubt
know I was meant for more
to Dream

————-

Me Ra can just sit down and write and write and write for hours. Me I can write for 1, maybe 2 hours and end up with 1 – 2 words per line for 1-4 pages. I usually spend as much or more of that time sitting and feeling. Other times my mind is blank, I’ve got nothing to say, but remember how much I enjoy the feeling of my pen touching my paper. I enjoy watching the lines, then letters materialize from nowhere, like witnessing God issue forth creation with a word. With his breath.

So I pulled out my pen and pad and in about 30-60 seconds I wrote this next one, which 10 minutes ago didn’t have a name. 9 minutes and 30 seconds ago I thought I’d call it “Warm up” and after reading it about 9 minutes ago though, I think I’ll call it “Reveal”. (Hey, Blaze got to name the dog. The least I get to do is name my own diatribes. And this is actually kind of fun naming them in front of you. I feel like I’m sitting on a stage and this audience is hanging on my every fascinating word…I know…now I’m DREAMING)! 🙂

Reveal

The pen rolling over my pad
words issuing forth
Living ___ Breathing
Dieing ___ Hating
Loving ___ Birthing
Changing the world
wasting ink
chopping down trees
Starting wars
Saving souls
Entertaining
Boring
Depressing
Inspiring
Unburdening my soul
Releasing my heart
Revealing Your Spirit
Ahhhhhh…..

——————————–

Well that’s it from me. I hope this was an okay change from my wife’s beautiful voice and charming words.

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  1. Melissa says:

    Brian, thanks for sharing. Personally I do like to know the story and feelings behind writing when I can. So many times you can’t ask the author you know?
    Also, C.s. Lewis wrote that we read to know we’re not alone. The struggle with your self that seems to be represented in “to dream” is familiar to me and to everyone who will read it.
    And I like the second one too. The power of the written word is definitely something to think about! I think it’s a shame that people have come to think words don’t have real meaning anymore. I think they definitely do. Thanks again for being so open…

  2. Lora says:

    Brian, I also love the feeling of my pen touching paper…. It’s funny sometimes I feel like I have nothing to write, but then I am amazed at what happens when I just put the pen down and pour it all out. Kudos to you and Mera for sharing your faith. God bless you guys, what a sweet family. I’m over here in GA, and checking the blog daily! Love it! 🙂

  3. thanks for putting yourself out there Brian…
    “My soul longs to be shamed”, really heavy, really so personal and hopefully healing. i look at writing as a release, a way to rid some of my burdens…sometimes they come in layers, often times they are repeatitive. as much as i try to type my blog, it feels the most personal when it is from something i’ve written with a pen in my hand. you’re such a good guy for helping Me Ra today, it kinda reminds me of how I used to have my husband call in sick for me to work because I felt so guilty lol. only a good husband & friend would do that.

  4. Brian you are such a treasure! Thank you for sharing your words and your heart. It strikes me how you are able to simply put into words that which you and Me Ra have done for so many- “Unburdening my soul,Releasing my heart,Revealing Your Spirit.” May God continue to bless your journey together in love, relationship and ministry to many.

  5. Jen MacNiven says:

    Brian-
    Those are beautiful…you should keep a book of your poems and bless us more often with your writing! Pat on the back for you!

    Can’t wait to see the 5 finalists…I didn’t enter this time, but I did enter the pet contest. 🙂

  6. Denise says:

    awwwwwww – as if I couldn’t think any more good things about you, Brian. I wish I could write like that. I used to try but everything looked dumb to me after I wrote it down so I’d just throw it away as soon as it was finished. Thanks so much for sharing such a lovely a piece of you.

  7. Michelle says:

    Brian, these are beautiful..and to think, you actually wrote these. It is so nice to see you on the blog (not in your underwear).

  8. jeramy says:

    wonderful brian! i have such respect for the fence less flow of poetry….and the folks that can write it (that’s you). i think songwriting at times has so many rules that poetry just doesn’t have to follow. i’m envious….sort of. seriously, you were a great substitute today. 🙂

    now all you need is a smokey night club, an un-lit cigarette, and a jazz trio backing you up…..WOMEN….WO-MAN!

  9. Sharon says:

    I wish I could write. The words just get stuck in my head and I find it too frustrating! Thank you for sharing your poetry with us!

    Jeramy you are too much! 😉

  10. jeramy says:

    oh….and for all of you that haven’t seen and were intrigued by brian’s teaser…..here’s my first memory of brian.

    http://www.merakohblog.com/2008/04/10/last-day/

    enjoy!

  11. Jennifer says:

    Thank you Brian for sharing your poetry with us. It really takes courage to open up…let alone sharing personal written words. I am honored that you gave us a glimpse. I loved both of them! Now I want more…do I foresee a regular blog post coming with “Brian’s Poetry!”

    I love the undie pic too! Jeramy beat me to it adding in the link.

  12. Genie says:

    Love it! and SO happy someone posted that link!

    Bri-guy, I was touched by your writing – blog & poetry. I have to say that I heard it with a rap beat…I think it’s perfect for that! Deep soul and cool rapped up in one. Anoint us again with more!

  13. Katie says:

    Just wonderful. Those are great. I cannot wait to read more…maybe a weekly feature?

  14. Allison G. says:

    Wow! I agree with everyone else. That is a gift you’ve got there… thank you for blessing us with your beautiful words. I can hardly write a blog comment without stressing about it, much less put my deepest fears, struggles, and happiness into words that just sound like art….. More, please! 🙂

  15. Laura says:

    I love it and I love your vulnerability. Both you and Me Ra have that, your being real and allowing people to see deeper than the surface. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your words. I like the weekly feature Idea……a weekly poem from Brian. Nice.

  16. Dana says:

    Brian, I loved your poems. I have a great limerick story for you… I’m in my Suburban with 8 cub scouts (all 9-10 years old)(I have 9 seatbelts…remember), and they are driving me crazy with all their bounciness. I suggest the license plate game, no takers. I suggest the letter, then number game, no takers. I say “lets tell a story, and I’ll start it” no takers. I suggest we make up a limerick. One of the boys asks what that is, and I explain that how the lines need to rhyme. He asks if he can go first. I answered that he could go right ahead. He says “There once was a man named Enos…”

  17. […] a few hundred images!! Way more than I realized. (thank you Brian for buying me another day with your poetry–isn’t his poetry […]

  18. Brian, thanks for sharing such personal thoughts/emotions. I thought both poems (although I’m definitely a fan of “To Dream”) were great insights. You asked if people would like to hear the background. I for one would love to. I love the transcendence that poetry offers. It can mean so much to so many people. But I also love knowing what the author’s meaning/inspirations/thoughts/feelings were. Thanks again!

  19. Do you not see that Allah is He Whom do glorify all those who are in the heavens and the earth, and the (very) birds with expanded wings? He knows the prayer of each one and its glorification, and Allah is Cognizant of what they do. (The Light 24.41)

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