7 Tips to Staying Close with Your Adult Children – Dallas Frisco Portrait Photographer – Me Ra Koh
I’ve noticed a lot of literature on how to let go of your adult children. And I’ve learned first hand how hard the process can be. But there is also another dynamic of growing a relationship that only becomes stronger. Kathy and her daughter, Addie, are a great example of this dynamic. They are part of the inspiration behind this post of 7 tips to staying close with your adult children.
The first tip is in this portrait. I loved having them stand back to back. When our kids are little we face them with open arms. As they become adult children we have their back. We’re always there but don’t need to see and monitor every step they take, every detail, every choice. As moms, we can look over our shoulder and see how they’ve grown, how beautiful their independence is becoming. And as our adult children, they can lean back and feel us standing for them like a pillar.
Kathy and Addie decided to take a mother/daughter weekend trip and fly to us from North Carolina. They celebrated their birthdays with a Rising Phoenix Experience! Both these ladies lead busy lives. Addie is in her senior year of college. Kathy is not only a single mom, but she also owns a veterinarian practice.
These ladies aren’t under the same roof anymore. They’re not even in the same city. So I thought it would be so special to do a call with each of them and hear what they love about each other in this season of life.
What Addie Shared about Her Mom
“My mom is adventurous! She’s living her life to the fullest these days vs it being all about me & work. I love how she takes time for herself, like a motorcycle trip around Europe! My mom is so deserving.”
In talking with Addie, I noticed how much it gave to her seeing her mom embrace this new season of life with joy. Sometimes we can second guess feeling happy when our kids first leave home. It’s like we’re happy and sad at the same time. But when we step forward, pursue adventures that give us joy, it draws our adult children even closer. I think it’s because they realize they don’t need to worry about us. They can keep leaning on us.
“She has always been an amazing role model of being an independent woman but seeing her come out of that 20 year spell, having conquered all she has, to now capitalize on every opportunity… my mom inspires me! She is the perfect picture of an independent mom and even business owner.”
“My mom is so caring, loving and so strong. She has never let hard times tear her down. Hearing about her past experiences is so enriching and inspiring to me.”
I love how Addie says hearing about her mom’s past experiences enriches and inspires her. That is definitely one of the BEST 7 tips to staying close with your adult children. Hearing what you struggled with and have overcome helps them realize they have the strength to do the same no matter what challenges they face.
What Addie Hopes Her Mom is Reminded Everyday
“Every morning she sees her Rising Phoenix portraits, I hope it’s a constant reminder that she can continue to do all the things she wants. That she deserves to wake up and live the best day!”
“She has loved me so much and deserves to take every life opportunity. My mom has done so much and earned it.”
What Kathy Said is Rising Within Herself
I asked Kathy what is rising from the ashes in this season of her life. Her answer is beautiful!
“That I’m never too old to set another new goal or dream. When I turned 60, I felt immediately old. My mom died at 67. So I tried to think about setting goals, new dreams, and living in present vs I’m getting ready to die.”
This is the portrait Kathy decided to have BIG in her home. “This year I had a lot of prayers answered and dreams happen, feel fortunate to be in a happy place. Last 10 years felt like I was in daily grind. But now I feel excited, happier, looking forward to what’s next!”
“Seeing this every day will bring me joy. That’s for sure! Make me smile, and remind me that I still have a place in the world and can contribute to others.”
Every Morning She Sees This and Thinks…
Kathy told me she looks at this every day and knows “I am beautiful and I got this!”
YES!!!!! YES, YOU ARE KATHY!!!! YOU BOTH ARE!!! XOXOXOXO
Those first few years your adult children leave home, you feel a bit lost. Even though you know in your head you still have a lot of good to contribute to the world…you can’t help but wonder what you have to give. Your role as a mom has forever changed. I love how Kathy not only gave her heart space to go through this transition but also chose to embrace the new season.
What Kathy Loves About Her Daughter
“There is a strength in Addie that I didn’t expect. I look at all we’ve been through with raising her as a single mom. I can struggle with blaming myself for not being able to give her more. But look at her strength!”
It’s so easy to get caught in a cycle of blaming ourselves for things we wish we would’ve done more of or better. But that will make our kids want to distance themselves from us. Blame and shame tend to suck up all the oxygen in the room. Instead, when we recognize what the storms or our shortcomings have shaped in our adult children, we set them FREE to fly even higher!
“Addie’s independence is rising! She’s always been independent, but it’s different in this season. I know and see that she can survive in this world. And it makes me so proud!
“I love how passionate Addie is too. We disagree politically, but I admire her compassion and independence. She’s also getting to do great things with kids. Her passion for helping children is powerful.”
Did you catch that other tip? So good. 7 tips to staying close with your adult children is giving them room to think different than you. They may go through a season where you disagree politically or other things, but it’s okay. Recognizing the good you see in them will far outlast and outweigh any differences in preferences or opinions.
What Addie’s Best Friend Loves About Her
We had to do a call with Addie’s bestie! I asked Hailey what Addie’s superpower is.
“Addie definitely has a few! She’s the one you can rely on to make you laugh, to have deep conversation and always good advice. And yet she’s the baby of all our friends. Yet she’s so mature! We can all go to her with hard conversations and get advice or laughter. Being able to see past petty things that we can get stuck on. Dependable, reliable, whatever it takes.”
I asked Hailey what she hopes Addie is reminded of every day when she sees her Rising Phoenix portraits. Hailey’s response was so special. She started to cry in sharing these next words.
“How beautiful Addie truly is. That she would look at these and think ‘Wow, I really am gorgeous and truly beautiful. She’s one of the most beautiful we all know.”
What Addie Feels Rising in Herself
Emotion. That is one of her answers, and it is so powerful to me.
“I’m studying to be a children’s psychologist, to help kids who have been traumatized physically or sexually, do all I can to help them overcome… This is good and bad because I feel things really big, feel it so deeply. But I want to use my emotions for good vs feeling distraught.” WOW. Just WOW.
The Portrait Addie Loves Most
It may seem so simple, but that is what inspired the portrait Addie loves most.
This is what it says to her. “We’re going to do this. This is a hard path, not for everyone, a lot of people aren’t made for it, but you have a heart for those kids. No matter how hard it is, we’re going to get through it. You will get the education needed to help as many kids as you can.”
Addie, I know this next portrait isn’t your favorite. But your mom and I LOVED it. So I’m sharing it. LOL.
You look weightless, like your flying. I want you to remember that you carry this kind of beautiful grace about you. It’s a gentle, loving warmth that you radiate.
I love what your friend, Lauren, said. “I hope when Addie sees these portraits that she knows whatever life may bring her, she has proven multiple times before that she is able to rise through and above the ashes and achieve greatness.”
Some people rise with this surge of power. But you rise with a loveliness. I think that is one of the many things kids sense in you and draws them to you. Love you girl!
The Last Tip
The last tip of the 7 Tips to Staying Close with Your Adult Children is to choose a place in your home where their portrait will have presence, interrupting your day in a good way. It will not only fill your heart when you’re missing them, but it also gives to them when it’s a portrait they’re proud of.
What is a Rising Phoenix Experience?
This is about you seeing the truth of who you are. When you see your resilience on the wall every day, it transforms you from the inside out. If you are overwhelmed with all the reasons why you shouldn’t invest time or money in yourself, I want you to pause and think of all the obstacles and challenges you have overcome in your life whether it’s a weight loss journey, depression, knowing you are enough, you are worthy, anxiety, cancer, seasons changing with kids leaving the nest, loss of a loved one. Have you been promoted in your career or pivoted with resilience?
Life is full of challenges. And we so often struggle to celebrate ourselves in a meaningful, lasting way.
The list of how we rise like a phoenix to overcome the odds goes on and on.
You Give to Everyone Around You
You’ve most likely given to everyone else. The time has come to give something transformational and lasting to you. Just read the following stories.
Have you achieved a weight goal? Read Jamie’s inspiring story of never going back after significant weight loss.
Maybe you need deeper healing from childhood trauma. You’ve done the counseling but still struggle to see the truth about who you are. You may relate to Tiffany’s story.
Jajuan flew from Seattle for his Rising Phoenix Experience! He wanted his daughters to see not only who dad is but where he’s come from. Sony spotlighted Jajuan’s Rising Phoenix story as one of the Best Of portraits in 2022! See Jajuan’s powerful story.
Or maybe you’re turning 40, 50, 60 or 70+ and want to reflect and celebrate who you are and the possibilities of what this next season of life holds?
The first step is to fill out our Rising Phoenix inquiry; CLICK HERE.
Michelle Found Courage to Step Beyond Grief
Meet Michelle. She is definitely someone who has known great courage. At one time, she was an interrogator for the US military in the Middle East. This 5’4 woman knows confidence. But the loss of her mom swallowed that confidence.
There are some seasons in life when we feel unshakeable courage and other seasons that leave us feeling lost. After great loss, it takes great courage to step forward. Maybe you relate to Michelle’s story.
Meet Our Oldest Rising Phoenix
She was in her 80s and never had her makeup and hair done. I’ll never forget the giggles we had over watching Oma that day in the studio. This beautiful 4’9 woman came to the United States with Opa when she was only 23 yrs old and pregnant with her first baby. All they had was $50. Leaving behind family and all that was familiar in the Netherlands, they boarded a cargo boat and set out to make a new life.
Krista, Oma’s granddaughter, had a FIORIA family experience with us last year. When she saw us launch the Rising Phoenix Experience, she thought of her grandma. Oma is the heart of their family and lived eighty plus years as a rising phoenix.
Click Here to meet Oma, our oldest Rising Phoenix!
Crystal drove to us from Las Vegas.
A single woman who has always been known for being responsible and quiet, yet there is another side of her that wants to come out. A side that is brave and takes risks—that believes she is worthy of doing something special not just for others but for herself too. A year after her Rising Phoenix Experience, she sent us photos of her traveling solo in Europe! She told us how much her life has changed from seeing who she is every day when she looks at her Phoenix portraits!
What truth do you need to be reminded of daily to unleash your purpose and potential?
Meet Our Youngest Rising Phoenix, a Miracle Photo Shoot!
CLICK HERE to see the most miraculous Rising Phoenix portraits!
This is the first time Isabella has ever looked at the camera and smiled. This was a miracle photo shoot.
I’ll never forget my first Discovery Call with Isabella’s mom. She wasn’t sure this was a good idea because Isabella is very sensory sensitive. Photo shoots have never gone well in the past. She felt very hesitant to believe this photo shoot could be a success.
I felt her words on such a deep level. I didn’t want to set them up for disappointment either. But I just knew that there was something so special about this whole thing. I told her, “There are many doubts and fears I can struggle with, but this is something I am confident I can do.” She borrowed that confidence, and we witnessed a miracle photo shoot.
All these people have something in common, they were ready to …
Rise above the ashes of what other people have said
Rising above their fear and doubts
Embracing their Rising Phoenix within.
Through our Rising Phoenix Experience, they not only did something special for themselves but also received something transformational.
I invite you to experience the transformation too!
Your Rising Phoenix Experience includes:
- Signature Phone Calls with You and Loved Ones (collection of words that give you life)
- Professional Hair & Makeup
- Wardrobe Consultation & Vision
- Rising Phoenix Photo Shoot with Me Ra Koh (Sony Artisan, Disney Host, and Live with Kelly & Ryan Guest Expert—You’re in good hands. I will pose you, and Brian will drop shadows and light on you in the most flattering way that radiates your Rising Phoenix.)
- Same Day Cinematic Reveal & Custom Design Session with our In-House Design Specialist
- Beautiful Artwork of Your Rising Phoenix, Custom Designed for the Best Place where it will Speak Truth to You Every Day.
CLICK HERE to fill out the inquiry and begin your Rising Phoenix Experience!
I can’t wait to speak soon! Still we rise!
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