Advice for Moms

Understanding Desire

Me Ra Koh

This weekend I was in TX giving the closing keynote for a powerful women’s conference. I spoke on the topic of understanding desire.

There were 1200 women, and there was a rumbling that I felt in my spirit which is hard to put into words.  Twelve hundred women coming together with a single purpose of seeking more freedom to be who they are, to express their creativity in the way they individually experience it, to find deeper healing and be empowered to move forward with their vision–powerful.

The speakers before me…POWERHOUSE WOMEN…each one was a completely different expression of femininity, strength, wisdom and confidence.  One made me laugh so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants.  Another made me cry my eyes out, and it was sooooo healing to cry.  When I got up to speak, I could feel the rumbling as I looked at this audience of beautiful women.  It was a deep rumbling ringing through my soul.  A rumbling of women wanting to know that who they are–all the specific things that make them who they are…is good enough.

I see a change coming among women.  And it’s a beautiful, powerful change.  I’m wondering if any of you are feeling the rumble inside your spirit.

Understanding Desire

One of the things I shared is how important desire is in a woman’s life.  As women, we were created with an enormous capacity to hold an ocean of desire…desires for our children, desires for our marriage, desires for our friends.  But what about the desires that we have for ourselves.  What do we desire?  Could we list ten things right now? 

Many women I meet these days can’t.  They can list desires they have for everyone they love, but for themselves…their face goes blank.  I feel it heavy on my heart to share with you part of what I shared this weekend.  There is a lie that has been speaking to us.  And I wonder if you’ve heard it.  The lie says that if your desire doesn’t make sense, can’t be guaranteed of end results that are worthy, and especially if it’s silly–well, that desire isn’t noble at all.  Why would you spend time pursuing that desire?

Can I tell you what I believe God has shown me over the years? 

He plants seeds of desire inside of us, and because He lives “outside of the box” those desires rarely ever make sense. 

They almost seem selfish.  Silly.  Crazy to pursue because of how unqualified we feel or even may be.  It reminds me of how we look at our pictures in the camera.  We run through them super fast, deleting any photos that don’t make sense right away.  But what if there is meaning in the photos that are mistakes, like we talked about last week

What if there is a thread that is meant to be followed–leading to something bigger.  What if the step of faith is to pursue and value the desires we’ve always pushed down because quite frankly, as a mom and business woman, I have a fear of spending my time on something that won’t pay off when it especially takes me away from my kids.  But what if that is the step of faith?  To risk spending the time on something that doesn’t make sense, when we must admit…it’s a desire we can’t shake.

I believe many of us have had it backwards. 

This is key to understanding desire. We are waiting to chase the desires that have clear, noble purpose.  But the purpose comes after we take up the desire and run.  The meaning comes in the journey.  And the start seems to always be a step into the unknown.  The dark.

I invite you to take a few minutes to yourself.  Lock yourself in the bathroom if you must and turn on the shower so everyone thinks your busy, even better if you have a perfect bathroom to inspire yourself and give you peace.

Write down five desires you’ve had in your heart, ones that you haven’t let see the light of day.  Think of the desires you had when you were a child, or the desires you gave up after having a baby.  Go back to that place of innocence with me when the impossible still seemed possible.  The first step to being fulfilled is knowing what makes your heart sing.

What makes your heart sing?  The world is desperate for songs that are true and genuine.




  1. wonderful post, MeRa. <3 thank you.

  2. MeRa-
    Thank you once again my friend for an amazing inspiring post- which of course comes at the most perfect time for me.
    I have so much love and appreciation in my heart for you my beautiful friend!
    Keep being amazing!

  3. Brittany says:

    I love this post. I am happy to report that I can name at least 3 desires for myself, although one, traveling the world, is with my husband and 3 small children. We have a 2020 plan for that one 🙂 It is difficult with 3 children not yet in school to find time for making my desires a reality, but I am really trying. I want to feel fulfilled and as a mother, it was shocking to realize that just being a good mom and having all that love wasn’t completely fulfilling.

    I love thinking about what makes my heart sing. If the world was filled with hearts that were singing, it would be a much happier place. A place where dreams and desires come true!

  4. Jennifer Tacbas says:

    *sigh* I adore this post…and you. Thank you for always keeping me on my toes and moving forward on this exciting journey to who-knows-where. All my desires have not been answered or even discovered, but I know that somewhere down the line, they will be. xo

  5. ok … I {heart} you. REALLY.
    so powerful, once again.
    LOVE, Love, love it.

    There is an overflow to us – as you pursue your desires.
    I’m going to find the song again, time to go a little deeper – shower time.
    Plus I’m sending this post to a bunch of ladies!
    XoxO – seriously, wish I could give you a big hug right now.

  6. EcoChicMama says:

    Love this post & for me as a mom
    And business owner I ask myself the same thing “is it worth it”
    I always go back Faith, discipline, vision, risk and that It will be because his ha is on it!!
    I also have a heart to call forth dreams, hopes and help
    Women take steps toward the thing in their heart.
    Keep dreaming, believing & taking hold of all that IS possible!

  7. EcoChicMama says:

    Great post… I as a mom and business owner have asked myself the same thing at times. When our heart is his, we do everything with character and a large does of faith I KNOW it will be worth it!
    My heart is to see dreams awakened and alive in women as well,keep up the great work.
    Dream. Belive. Hope. Never give up or look back, best is yet to come.

  8. you were awesome at the super model conference

  9. you were awesome at the super model conference