I’d like to introduce you to a special woman.  Her name is Julie Watts.  She is not only an awesome photographer, but Julie has a big heart to empower women who want to grow with their own photography no matter how beginner or advanced.  Her heart comes from a place of such goodness.  If you’ve joined the SOARORITY forum, you’ve seen some of her awesome photo critiques and posts about marketing.  I’ve asked her to be a source of mentoring and encouragement to the forum, and she has gladly jumped in.  Julie has also had a powerful experience with Self Portraits.  Since this is the SOAR! Photography Exercise for the month, I asked her to share with you.  May you be inspired.  (Thank you Jules.  Love u, Me Ra)

My Nine-Year Self Portrait Journey, Part 1 of 2

-by Julie Watts, Julie Watts Photography – guest photographer

This post is for all of you budding professional photographers out there, the photo self-exploratoresses who LOATHE being in front of the camera….who are disappointed with nearly all photos ever taken of yourself by other people. I am a professional photographer and I am one of you. I have been taking self-portraits for quite a few years now and want to share with you some thoughts on the subject…thank you Me Ra for the encouragement. Love to your family.

I would like to preface that I attended one of Me Ra’s workshops in October 2007 in Seattle.  I began coaching with Karen Buckley & Fay Freed of the Wisdom Connection the following year. Since then, my life has evolved as I’ve slowly, cautiously built up the confidence to design it into the flow that rings the most truth and gives me the most peace and satisfaction. Thank you to all three of you ladies for all I’ve learned from each of you.  (Oh how life has changed: On June 4^th this month, I was in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, photographing a destination wedding at a beautiful private villa. After the rehearsal, I had the opportunity to photograph the bride and groom. In the pool. Underwater. All three of us. With a waterproof camera. And a master photographer, Cam Colclough from Calgary, Canada assisting ME with the lighting for my concept!!)

Now on to my story…

My last disappointing picture of myself was taken just a few days ago by my son. It stung to see an awful visual  representation of myself. Overexposed, unflattering angle, I wasn’t even expecting it. But I had to look at it. The universe presented that opportunity. So I took the time to analyze my feelings AFTER the initial sting.

“Well that was just a bad picture.”

And I deleted that image in two seconds. And the next one, and the next one with the blank black seamless paper background without me even standing there in the frame. I deleted all of the total and unequivocal junk.  I realize NOW, almost 10 years after I first applied for a photography business license, that I have came a LONG way from the days when seeing a “bad” picture of me really stuck with me, became part of what I considered my physical and spiritual reality.  I had some uncomfortable baggage in that area, as do a lot of us, that made me kind of weigh the “unattractive” part more heavily than the rarer moments on camera where I  thought I looked cute and half-way dolled up. “Sure, I looked good there in that shot” I might say, “but I don’t dress up that often. That’s not ‘me’”. Sound familiar? Telling ourselves these things  takes our own power away from ourselves. Well,  I challenge you to notice if you do this often.  Just notice. You know what I think? You are a multifaceted gem. AND you can sparkle no matter what you wear, how old you are, or what you look like. I dare you to search inside however you must so that your inner sparkle can be seen by everyone (it attracts clients, too!).

Back in the “olden days”, you have to admit, they had that charm of wearing gloves, dresses, makeup, perfume, hats, heels, garters, or some level of distinguishing countenance, that, no matter what their income level, really sounds romantic to me sometimes (except maybe farmers and real rural types, but even most of them in the past had a nice outfit for church, weddings, or funerals, don’t you think?) Like, if I REALLY had time to do it, the money to do it, I think it might be kind of fun to dress more stylishly more often. But the” me” my family knows is casual most of the time, so far in life. The challenge for us is, I think, to accept ourselves as we are, as imperfect as we might think we are on the outside. I mean, separate from your outside, do you feel that your inner whims and your wishes are interesting and important?  They SO are.

Holy crap some of the smartest and most wonderful women in the world haven’t been cute. Madam Curie was a scientist, a poor Polish girl enrolling in a science course in 1891 in Paris. She has an incredible story.  Her portraits on the internet kinda make her look like a mad scientist. She’s changed the world and she’s not “hawt”. I think Madame Curie’s portraits are RAD! It’s rad to see the woman that loved science, her husband, her children, and discovered radioactivity and coined the term. THAT’S the kind of stuff that’s important in our lives. Joan of Arc. Queen Victoria. You get the idea.

So if you still shiver at the thought of doing your own self-portrait, you just might need to examine your frame of reference, that’s all.   For photography businesses & photography as a function of self-exploration, unbiased perception is a beneficial skill to have, but we all have to work at it to a degree, our whole lives. To get started on your self-portrait, you may want to make yourself proud before you even try. Don’t do it when you’re worried, silly! Don’t force it. Feel it in your gut and be at peace. If you can’t be at peace, pretend you are in a movie, and fake being at peace. Look at lots of old books or pictures of women from BEFORE the digital age. Your female ancestors, if possible! Compare yourself to all kinds of women if you want. A portrait of a person inside at peace while still giving an air of being forever on the journey through life, will always be the most beautiful to me.  So quit judging and just start planning. Think through the best angle, the best light, and relax and know you can delete ALL of them if you want. And you can always try again some other day. Eventually, I promise, if you keep trying, you will take a photograph of yourself that will start to heal you, even if you don’t think you need it.

Next week I will share self-portraits from the past 9 years of being in the photography business, and what they meant to me then, and what they mean to me now, and how being brave enough to take them has impacted my business and my personal life! I’d love to hear from any of you, especially our Soar Sisters on the forum!